“I chose you because your family would have been ruined by Montague. Marrying you was my way of protecting them and thwarting him. It was…convenient for us, Camelia. And that’s enough for you to know. You should be grateful.”
Camelia flinched. “Are you protecting me, or are you using me to fight some hidden war between you and Lord Montague?”
He answered her with a tense silence, and her heart shattered.
“Perhaps youshouldtake up a lover.”
“Camelia—”
“I deserve more, Raph. I’m your wife for a reason. Tell me why you’re so afraid to be with me?”
Raph got off the bed and turned his back to her. “Leave it be, Camelia.”
She sighed as the tense silence between them grew until it was unbearable. She made for the door, but paused before exiting.
“You can’t keep me in your shadow forever, Raph.” The door clicked shut behind her.
CHAPTER 23
Maybe Pamela will let me in, even just a crack.
Camelia sat in the morning room. The sunlight filtered through the tall windows and illuminated the polished mahogany table, where Pamela hunched over a manual on etiquette. Her expression was as guarded as ever.
Camelia’s heart ached at the girl’s distance, but the memory of their adventure in the kitchen and Raph’s searing lesson afterward steeled her resolve. She still planned to reach her, no matter how much the girl shut her out.
She adjusted her pale green gown, forcing a bright smile. “Pamela, shall we review the proper forms of address again?”
Pamela’s eyes flicked up, cool and distant like Raph’s. “I know them already, Your Grace. We’ve gone over them three times this week.” Her voice was flat, and her fingers tightened around the book’s edge.
She’s trying to push me away again.
Camelia leaned forward and spoke gently. “I know you’re quick, Pamela, but practice makes perfect. Or perhaps we could do something else? What do you enjoy when you’re not studying?”
Pamela’s lips pressed into a thin line. “The schedule says etiquette until noon. That’s what we’re doing. No more…surprises.”
Camelia’s smile faltered, but she pressed on with determination despite her racing heart. She refused to be caged by the strict schedules of Brentmere.
“How about we take a walk in the park? The air’s fresh, and it might clear our heads. We’ve been cooped up all morning.”
Pamela’s brow furrowed. “A walk? Today’s schedule doesn’t include exercise. The Duke would disapprove.” Her voice was edged with suspicion.
“You sound just like him.” Camelia laughed softly. “You know, my mother always used to tell me that some rules are meant to be broken, so a little fresh air won’t mess with our schedule. Come, grab your bonnet, and let’s escape for a bit.”
Her body tingled as she remembered Raph’s warnings about defying him again, but she decided to continue with her plan.
Pamela hesitated, then nodded. Her movements were stiff as she fetched her bonnet and stepped into the crisp air of the garden, with Camelia right beside her.
The gravel path crunched under their boots, and the scent of blooming roses mingled with the breeze. Camelia’s mind felt less of a mess when she was outdoors, but Pamela’s silence still hung heavy between them.
How do I reach her?
“Pamela,” Camelia said softly, “I wanted to let you know that I don’t want to replace your mother. I know I can never be her. But I’d like to be your friend and teach you a few things, if you’ll let me.”
Pamela stopped, her eyes narrowing on Camelia. “Myfriend? Before you married the Duke, you were unheard of in the ton, Your Grace. Why should I listen to a woman like you? What couldyoupossibly teachme?”
Her words stung, but Camelia’s smile didn’t waver, and she continued to speak with conviction. “The ton’s opinions never got under my skin, Pamela. On the contrary, by embracing who I truly am and refusing to bow to Society’s tyrants, I’ve learned to live happily. So, the ton can whisper all they want, but I know who I am, and my heart is my own.”
Pamela’s eyes filled with intrigue and curiosity. “Happily? Even when they called you a defiant spinster. How did you… not care?”
