We get in my car and drive away, leaving him standing in the parking lot.
Lennox is shaking slightly. "I can't believe I just did that."
"I can't believe you defended me to my father." Still shocked about what just happened, I will have to talk to him again soon but now I’m just happy to not have to think bout him.
"He was being an asshole."
"He's always an asshole, but no one ever calls him on it." I reach over and take her hand. "Thank you."
"You're welcome. Now drive faster. I need to either have sex with you or punch something, and sex is less likely to result in assault charges." I burst out laughing, and drive faster because having sex after a win is the best way to finish the day.
***
Back at my apartment, we barely make it through the door before we're tearing at each other's clothes. This time is different from last night. More intense. More raw. I need her in a way that feels almost violent, and she meets me with equal force.
"Bedroom," I growl against her mouth. "Now."
We make it this time, falling onto my bed in a tangle of limbs and desperation.
"Hard," she gasps as I pin her wrists above her head. "I want it hard."
I give her exactly what she wants. Fast, rough and probably too intense, but she's with me every step, her nails digging into my back, her teeth on my shoulder.
When we both finally come, it's explosive and desperate and feels like claiming something.
After, we lie tangled together, both breathing hard.
"That was..." she starts.
"Yeah."
We’re silent for a moment, then she specks.
"Your father saw us together." I knew she was going tomention something about him, I was hoping it wasn’t just after we had sex, but I think it was her way of letting out the stress.
"I know."
"That's going to complicate things."
"I know that too." I pull her closer. "I don't care. Let him know. Let everyone know."
"Carter, my article isn't published yet. If people think we're together, they'll say I'm biased?—"
"Are you? Biased?"
"Yes. Completely. But the article is still fair. I'm writing about what I've actually seen, not what I want to see." The way her voice breaks, I can tell she’s stressing a lot about this.
"Then that's all that matters." I kiss the top of her head. "Besides, my father knowing might actually help. He hates that I'm choosing you over his approval. That I'm choosing my own path."
"Is that what I am? Your rebellion?" Oh wow that’s a question which hits hard, and how she can even think that.
"No. You're my choice. There's a difference."
She doesn’t say anything, but I hope she believes I’m not with her to disappoint my father, but because I want to be with her.
We fall asleep like that, wrapped around each other, and for the first time in weeks, I don't have nightmares about disappointing my father.
Because I've finally realized, his disappointment is his problem, not mine and the only person I need to prove anything to is myself.
