"Anyone think harassing women is okay? That academics don't matter because we're athletes?"
More silence.
"Then we've already started changing. The rest is just showing it." I finish lacing my skates. "Now get on the ice. We have a game Saturday and I'm not letting some article distract us from winning."
The team files out, still grumbling but focused.
Coach Davis catches me before I leave. "Good speech. But Carter, you need to handle this journalist situation carefully. The university is watching."
"I know. I'm doing the interview series."
"And?"
"And I'm going to make her see how wrong she is. Show her what this team actually is." I know she will change her mind.
"Just don't make it worse. We can't afford more bad press." He claps my shoulder. "And for what it's worth? I know what you've done for this team. The changes you've made. That article didn't reflect that."
"Thanks, Coach."
Practice is brutal. I push everyone, including myself, harder than necessary. Drills until people are gasping. Scrimmages that get physical. By the end, everyone's exhausted and focused.
Good. Focused means they're not thinking about the article.
After practice, I check my phone. Message from the athletics department with Lennox Hayes's contact information and a schedule of required interview times.
I text her before I can overthink it.
Me:Got your number from the athletics department. We need to schedule our first interview. How's tomorrow, 4pm, rink?
I'm being an asshole. Four PM is right in the middle of her café shift, I looked up her work schedule because I'm petty like that.
We exchange messages, until we arrange a time.I pocket my phone and head back to the locker room to shower.
Tyler's still there, along with a few other guys.
"So what's the plan with the journalist?" Tyler asks. "We letting her into practices?"
"Dean's orders. She gets full access." I say.
"That's bullshit. She's going to twist everything we say." Tyler moans.
"Then we don't give her anything to twist." I slam my locker closed. "We show up, we play hard, we act professional. She wants a story? We'll give her a boring one."
"And if she digs up more shit? More 'anonymous sources' with complaints?"
"Then we deal with it, but I'm not letting her intimidate us into hiding." I grab my bag. "We've got nothing to be ashamed of. Not anymore." They don't look convinced, but they nod.
I leave before anyone can argue further. Back in my apartment, off-campus, single bedroom, the kind of privacy that comes with being a senior and having family money, I collapse on the couch.
The article is still trending on the Tribune website. The comments section is a warzone.
Some people defend me. Some attacking. Some ask legitimate questions about team culture that I don't have good answers for.
I open my laptop and pull up the latest draft of my senior thesis: "Masculinity and Identity Formation in Competitive Sports Environments."
Ironic, given current events.
I've been researching toxic masculinity in athletics for two years. Interviewing teammates, reading studies, trying to understand how good people get caught up in bad cultures. Trying to understand how to change it.
