Iknowhe heard me hiccup.
That stupid tell has always been a fucking curse!
I’m honestly more upset that I hurt Jukes than I am about some waste of space cup sweat fuck boy getting fresh with me.
Priorities out of order?
No.
I just know exactly how to deal with that.
Recover and repair.
As for what was severed up between me and the man I don’t want to live without?
Not so much.
Anger and worry and sadness simultaneously flow through my system as I retreat to pack up my few supplies that were spilled during the altercation.
“This shouldn’t’ve happened to you,” M growls barely above a whisper.
“It shouldn’t’ve,” leaves me in a lower volume, “but it does.”
“Maybe if I had-”
“No.” I snap at the same time I drop the container of dental wax into my bag that’s on the table. “This is not about you.” Outrage and disbelief and deep unchecked irritation fuse together until they’re foaming uncontrollably past my parted lips. “Not everything has tobeorbecomeabout you, Milano!”
“You’re inmybarn, Gillian.” A single step is taken in my direction. “You were attacked by a teammy boyswere playing. A teammy boystillied with. A team out for obvious vengeance againstus.” Fury flares on his face in tandem with his tone. “Of course this was about me!”
“This is about me!” My pointed fingers jam themselves inward. “Iwas the one attacked! It wasmyass that was grabbed! It wasmy boyfriendthat helped prevent the situation from getting so much worse than it could’ve!”
“Your boyfriend…” he seethes, words sour on his tongue given the way he sneers. “You meanmy player.” Disgust deepens on another stomp. “One ofmy boys!” The reverberations shake everything in the room but me. “You’re fucking one of my boys to get back at me for what exactly?!”
My jaw dropping doesn’t warrant a pause in his tantrum.
“You betrayed me for what?! Had him betray me for fucking what. Gillian?!”
Letters to create words can’t even get close enough together tostarta sentence.
“For not being around all summer?! For having a career that needs me?! For taking care of the rest of my fucking family?! For you not being the center of my fucking universe?!”
“No, you narcissistic, self-involved, fucking pylon!” It’s my turn to clomp forward. “Me falling for Thayne hadnothingto fucking do with you! Not everything I do revolves around you!” Realization suddenly punches me in the ribcage so hard it knocks the literal wind out of me. “Except…that it does…”
A cocky hand wave in my direction receives a deep glare.
“Myentirefucking life has been spent revolving around yours, Milano.Literallysince birth. Everything we did, everywhere we went, wasfor you.Was aboutyou.I didn’t have hobbies that couldn’t work aroundyou and your schedule.I didn’t have dates and boyfriends because ofyourthreats. I barely had my own life in college because I was busy followingyourcareer. Supportingyourdreams while backburning my own. I was there foryourhighs,yourlows,yourinsecurities,yourmarriage,yourfears, your…fucking…everything…whenever you needed it because that’s how I grew up. That’s how I was raised. And that’s why…that’s why…I didn’t want you to know about me and Thayne.” My body unconsciously slumps against the edge of the counter I’m near. “Because for the first time…in a really,reallylong time, Milano, I had something that was actuallymine.”
His mouth twitches yet no sound escapes.
“And you know what’s really fucked up?” The curling of my fingers against the edge is done for additional stability, resilience to stand strong in my convictions. “Every singleperson who found out about us that knows you…their first response wasn’t even aboutme.It was aboutyou.It was ‘how does your brother feel’ and ‘what does your brother think’ and ‘does your brother know’?” Another headshake of annoyance is delivered. “Even something that should’ve been about me, became aboutyou.”
An unrecognizable emotion bobs his jaw. “Everyone else knew but me?!”
“Seriously?!” New levels of irateness unlock. “You’re still making this shit about you?!”
“I-”
“Let me help!”
