I wish Zep would be the bad guy so I can hate him. Not someone who defends Bernie to both his ex and mine. I want him to do something that will make me fall out of love with him, but he keeps doing these things that make it too damn difficult.
“Bernie, baby, can you go play with the cats for a minute? I need to talk to Zep outside.”
She nods and heads to the living room. Zep follows me outside, and I sit on the top step of the porch. My entire body feels like I’ve just been hit by a train.
“Misty?”
I didn’t even realize I’d started sobbing again until his large hand rubs my back. “That look on her face,” I manage to get out, “is what I never wanted to see.”
“I know.”
Taking a few deep breaths, I try to calm myself. It only partially works, and it truly feels like this is a dream. It has to be, doesn’t it? In what world would Ben ever come around, let alone tell Bernie the truth about why she’s never met him? She’s only ever seen pictures of him, and most of them come from her grandparents.
“I can’t believe he told her. What kind of asshole says that to a child. Tohischild?”
“Um… my father?” Zep offers, and I can’t help but chuckle.
“You and her both have shitty dads.”
“She’s okay, Misty. We talked, and she’s okay.”
I wipe my eyes and let out a long breath. “This isn’t okay. Nothing about this is okay. She deserves a dad. A man who loves her for the beautiful person she is. Who sees how amazing she is, and I’m tired, Zep. I’m really, really fucking tired.”
The weight I carry has been a lot heavier lately than itnormally is, and I wish things would just go back to normal. With Zep involved, it felt like I finally had help carrying the load. And Bernie got an idea of what it was like to have a father figure in her life. Now, it’s just come crumbling down on us, and I’m pretty sure it’s crushing me.
“What can I do?” he asks.
“The things you said about Ben… How’d you know?”
Zep looks away, and that alone confirms my suspicions. He stalked him. “I, uh, had one of my guys look into him.”
“Why?”
“Because I wanted to know what asshole would leave you to raise Bernie alone for eight fucking years.”
“What did you find?”
Sniffling, he leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees with his hands clasped together in front of him. “Two domestic charges that were eventually dropped with a third one pending. Then he has that murder charge he’s hiding from.”
“Domestic violence?”
“Yep. I don’t know the details, but I can get them for you if you want. Sounds like girlfriends, though. And when his financials didn’t add up to his work history, Pacino looked deeper. That’s how we figured out he was dealing, and then the murder charge came up. Wasn’t hard to put it all together.”
“That’s what he was here for?”
Nodding, he turns his head to look at me. “He tried to get Butch to help get the charges dropped. He’s using his own product, though, so Butch would’ve told him to fuck off. If it didn’t kill him, it shouldn’t have killed a teenager.”
This surprises me. This isn’t the Ben I knew. He was the good kid, minus the teenage pregnancy he pretended didn’t exist. Played sports. Didn’t do more than drink. And he never so much as got detention, let alone arrested.
“He uses? Are you sure?”
“Didn’t you notice the marks on his face?”
I can’t look at Zep anymore. His gaze is intense and suffocating. “No.”
“Well, they were there. Plus, no guy is getting back up after the beating I gave him unless he’s hopped up on something.”
That part makes sense. I was kind of surprised he stood on his own after bones in his face were clearly broken. “That wasn’t the guy I was in love with, Zep. I never would have been with him if he was. And he sure as hell wasn’t hitting anyone, let alone women.”
