“Fuck you,” Mitch growled with a frown, storming past him into the hallway.
“Ah. This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship,” Adam said with a chuckle as he walked into the LT’s office.
As Mitch stalked away, he heard the LT yell after him, “That’s the kind of shit I’m talking about, MacDonald. Knock it off!”
CHAPTER TWO
After his run-in with the LT and the new guy, Mitch headed straight to the downstairs locker room, changed out of his uniform, and left the old, rundown building. Deciding to walk the twenty blocks home, he set off on foot. The mind-numbing hustle and bustle of the city lent a peaceful background to his turbulent thoughts. He’d driven to work that morning but could take a cab in tomorrow. If he returned at all.
Since he didn’t need the job, it was entirely possible he’d just say fuck it and quit. Only a handful of people knew about his financial situation, but the LT was one of them. Years ago, his oldest brother Sam, had moved to Washington State and gotten involved in a computer start-up business. He talked his family into buying stock when his company went public. They’d done it only to be supportive, never imagining it would make them all millionaires. Now, money wasn’t an issue, and he worked because he liked it. That was changing quickly.
Brooding over what the LT said about him never smiling or laughing, he tried to think back to the last time he recalled doing either. After a full minute of serious contemplation, and discounting courtesy laughing at things the boys orJenny said, he came up empty. He also drew a blank trying to remember the last time he’d gone out with friends. Besides Jenny, did he even have any friends? That he had to ask wasn’t a good sign.
His latest partners had all been douchebags, with the last one, Lance Cooper, being the worst of all. That guy was a real piece of work, always trying to borrow money and skip out of work early. At least he’d seen the last of Lance. Of all the shit the LT laid down, that was one bit of good news.
Was it possible the LT had a point? Maybe he wasn’t right in the head anymore. If this had been the first he’d heard of it, he’d blow it off straightaway, but the annoying fact that his mother and two brothers had mentioned precisely the same thing on several occasions made him consider its validity. They couldn’tallbe wrong.
His problem was that he couldn’t come to terms with how everyone had just moved on from Jimmy’s death like it didn’t matter. Two years had passed, but he still thought about it like it was yesterday, still mourned like it was yesterday, and was still royally pissed off like it was yesterday.
Jimmy was his first partner after he graduated from the academy. Mitch was twenty-three then, and though Jimmy had ten years on him, the age gap never mattered. They’d gotten along from the get-go, spending hours and hours together both on and off the job. He grew close to Jimmy’s wife, Jenny and eventually their two sons. He already had four brothers, but quickly came to consider Jimmy as number five. Jimmy not only taught him how to be a good police officer, but what it meant to be a good man, a good husband, and a great father.
Lost in thought, it took him a minute to realize his cell phone was vibrating. He pulled it out and answered before checking the caller ID. “This is Mitch.”
“Hey, baby. It’s Veronica. I’m calling to see if you have plans later. I was hoping we could get together tonight.” Andby that, she meant hook up for some hot, sweaty, down-and-dirty sex.
He and Veronica had been getting together for what he considered casual sex, on and off for a couple of months. It started out great, but lately, she’d been calling more frequently, and he was beginning to wonder if she wanted more out of the arrangement.
Notwithstanding her killer body, he’d grown tired of her. He’d grown tired of a lot of things.
“Not tonight, babe. I can’t talk right now, either. I’m getting ready to walk into a meeting,” he lied smoothly. “I’ll call you soon.” Without waiting for a reply, he hung up and continued walking. Right away, the phone vibrated again. Sorry he’d answered in the first place, he turned it off and slid it back into his pocket.
He grabbed a sandwich from the deli in his lobby, headed up to his penthouse, and spent the afternoon working out in one of the extra bedrooms he’d turned into a workout room. When he couldn’t lift another ounce, he jumped in the shower and cleaned up. He wasn’t hungry but ate the sandwich anyway, and then spent the next several hours staring at the muted TV, absorbing nothing, still lost in thought.
Going into that bank two years ago, his life had been close to perfect. Coming out, not ten minutes later, he’d been an irrevocably changed man.
He and Jimmy were nearing the end of their shift but were the closest unit to the bank when dispatch put out the silent alarm. They didn’t expect it to be a real emergency. Panic alarm buttons were pushed accidentally all the time. Still, they were cautious upon entering.
He’d sensed something was wrong the second he stepped over the threshold. Most of the people in the bank had no idea it was being held up. The robber had quietly passed a note to teller number three saying he had a gun and wanted two hundred thousand dollars.
As soon as the teller made eye contact with Mitch, all hell broke loose. The relief must have shown on her face because the robber had already pulled his gun and turned to fire before Mitch and Jimmy were all the way into the bank. He’d entered first and pushed Jimmy backward as he dove for cover behind a large marble pillar. The two shots fired by the robber started a shitstorm of screaming and general hysteria from the bank customers.
Mitch drew his gun but couldn’t fire for fear of hitting one of the patrons or tellers. As he was yelling at everyone to get down, the gunman ran toward the opposite door shooting randomly as he went. Mitch watched him rush out the revolving door and got up to go after him. When he turned to make sure Jimmy was with him, he froze.
Jimmy was holding his neck as blood poured out between his fingers, a look of complete disbelief on his face. Mitch used his portable radio to call for backup and an ambulance. “Officer down” was something no officer ever wanted to report, but there it was. Jimmy was an officer, about to go down.
He dropped to his knees, catching Jimmy as he fell, and bellowed for someone to find something he could use to stop the bleeding. A petite Asian woman ran to his aid with a scarf she’d ripped from another woman’s neck. He found out later she was an off-duty nurse. The two of them did the best they could. The ambulance arrived in record time, but none of it mattered. Jimmy died right there in his arms. With his dying breath, Jimmy professed his love for Jenny, his sons, and Mitch.
The medics had solemnly and respectfully taken Jimmy’s body while Mitch had been shuttled off to the station to give his statement. After getting the all clear to leave, he drove north to his cabin upstate and wasn’t seen again for two months. He didn’t remember much of those first few weeks. It had been spent in a drunken, rage-filled, guilt-ridden, heartbreaking stupor.
Once he sobered up enough to think of anything other than his own misery, he began to chastise himself for neglecting his responsibility to Jenny and the boys. What kind of asshole just up and disappeared like that? He should have been there when the brass showed up to tell Jenny. He should have been there to help her tell the boys. And he most definitely should have been at the funeral, helping carry Jimmy’s casket. Basically, he’d been a big pussy.
The list of things he regretted and couldn’t forgive himself for just kept getting longer and longer. He was swimming in an ocean of grief and shame and was days away from giving in and drowning.
Miraculously, it was Jenny, the person he’d most wronged, who came to get him. He’d let her husband die and left her kids fatherless. And yet there she was, on his doorstep, two months after burying her husband, telling him to get his ass packed, they were going home.
It hadn’t been a bed of roses right away. His relationship with Jenny was tenuous for months. It was unbelievable she didn’t blame him for Jimmy’s death, unfathomable that she still wanted him in her family’s life after what a complete and utter ass he’d been. He didn’t deserve her but was too selfish and weak to walk away. He needed her and the boys. He needed someone to take his mind off what a horrible mess his life had become. Slowly, she made him believe that she genuinely wanted him around. Gradually, he rebuilt trust with the boys.
When the late-night news came on, he hauled himself off the couch and off to bed. As always, before attempting sleep, he thought of Jenny and the boys and hoped they were okay. He didn’t pray per se, but he did want God to watch out for them.
