That stung a little. “I was only trying to help. Especially with the threats and stuff.”
“I know. And I appreciate it. But I’ll have to figure it out without you. I won’t let Calvin get hurt.”
“What about all the guys you date?”
“What about them? Calvin doesn’t know anything about that. He never meets them and has no idea I even go out while he’s gone.”
“It seems like you never give anyone a chance to get close.”
“If I can tell right away they aren’t going to work out, then no. I don’t waste time ‘giving anyone a chance.’”
“And by ‘work out,’ you mean they’re not marriage material?” He tried to curb the slight sneer, but her reaction told him he’d been unsuccessful.
“Alex, you may have the luxury of letting women in and out of your life as you please. Taking time to get to know someone or not. Getting together and breaking up on a whim. But as a single mom, I don’t have that option. I can’t dilly-dally around with dead ends.”
“I get it. I do.” He sighed. “It just sucks, because I like you guys. Not enough to propose right this second or anything, but it would be nice if we could take the time to see where this might go.”
“Have you changed your mind about wanting kids?”
“No. I don’t know,” he said, plowing a hand through his hair in frustration. “I do know I don’t want to hurt you or Calvin.”
“If that’s true, then you’ll stay away. It’s for the best.”
A tear slid down her cheek, and he nodded.
“Should I say goodbye?” He looked toward Calvin’s room.
“No,” she said. “A clean break will be better. Just go. I’ll take care of it.”
He let himself out and returned home.
Was he a jerk? Or was he right for being honest? Was it him or the situation that sucked? It wouldn’t do them any good for him to commit to something he didn’t want. That could only end in resentment.
The most frustrating part was that he felt like maybe he could get there. Maybe six months down the road, he could love them enough to make it permanent. He’d committed to three-month-only relationships, but Julia and Calvin had him rethinking that. He was willing to give them a chance.
Julia was right though. It wasn’t fair to Calvin. He and Julia were adults and could recover from a breakup if that’s how things ended, but involving a five-year-old changed the dynamic. She put Cal’s needs and feelings above her own, and Alex respected her for it.
They’d both been honest. A relationship just wasn’t in the cards for them.
He took out his frustration on the free weights in his home gym. He vowed—swore this time—that he would never get involved with a single mother again. This was the second time things had ended badly with one, and he wouldn’t do it again.
* * *
Calvin came out of his room and asked where Mr. Alex was.
“Honey,” Julia said. “Remember when I told you Mr. Alex worked a lot and was really busy being a fireman?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Well, he has to go back to work and won’t be able to come by anymore.”
“But I’m asking Santa for him to be my dad. Simon gots a dad, and I want one too.”
“Oh, baby. That’s not really something Santa can give you.”
“Why not?”
She hugged him close. “Being a dad is a big job, and Mr. Alex already has a job.”
