“Is it Ray coming back to the firehouse?”
“Not gonna lie. That sucks,” Alex said, peeling at the label of his beer. “But really, he did me a favor, showing me what type of girl Amber was. God, if I hadn’t caught them and broken up with her, we might still be together. Married even. What kind of hell would I be in then?”
“I hope he doesn’t expect a thank you,” Garrett said, and Alex chuckled. “If it makes you feel any better, they didn’t last long either. After you dumped her, I mean.”
Alex shrugged.
“I know you don’t care about Amber anymore, but she kind of did a number on you,” Garrett said.
“What do you mean? I’m fine.”
“You’re fine, sure. But it’s hard for you to trust women now. Isn’t it?” Garrett asked. “You used to be optimistic about your relationships. Always thought maybe the next one would betheone.”
Alex gave him a stern look. “You make me sound like a pansy.”
“No,” Garrett said. “I don’t mean it in a cheesy way. I’m just saying, you were never so bitter when you broke up with someone. You were always game to try again. It seems like you lost some of that after Amber.”
Alex remained silent. Was that true? Hm. Maybe.
He finally confided in Garrett about what was really bothering him. He confessed what he’d said to Julia and how he felt terrible about it.
“You just proved my point,” Garrett said. “You’re driving her away before giving things a chance.”
“This is different. We never had a chance. She doesn’t want a relationship. Only a husband.”
“Huh?” Garrett said.
“All she wants is a baby daddy to help with the kid and the bills. ‘Love optional,’ she said.” He made his disgust clear. “IfI ever give a real relationship a shot again, it would have to be more meaningful than that. I’d want someone I loved and who loved me too.”
“Do you think maybe she’s just saying that? Because it’s too much to expect anything else. I don’t know much about being a single parent, but I understand the reasoning behind putting your kid first and sacrificing everything else to make sure they’re taken care of.”
Alex sighed. “I suppose. I saw it with Amber and can see it with Julia too. Parenting alone is a rough gig.”
Garrett took a swig of his beer and nodded.
“I don’t want to hurt the kid either. What if I date his mom, and things don’t work out?”
“There’s that pessimism again. What if they do?”
“I don’t know how to be a dad.”
“No one does at first,” Garrett said. “You’d be great. Once you got over your fear of kids.” He laughed.
“Fear’s too strong a word,” Alex said. “Her little dude is totally different from Amber’s kid. He’s actually not so bad.”
“Not so bad? Wow. Sounds like he’s almost won you over.”
“Eh. I’m just gonna stick with my three-month thing. That’s the beauty of it. I don’t have to worry about stuff like this.”
Garrett rolled his eyes.
“Enough about me,” Alex said. “What’s up with you?” On days they worked, they spent all day every day side by side, but work was too busy for decent, private conversation.
Garrett pulled out a little black box and opened it, grinning.
“Dude, are you serious?”
“Christmas morning. I’m doin’ it.”
