Hell, did everyone think he’d just sleep with anyone put in front of him? He supposed he deserved that, but seeing it painted so black and white, like this gal was doing, made him seem like a gigolo. He had some standards!
The thought briefly crossed his mind. He could take her to his place in town, do the deed, and still get back to the farm before midnight. He could tell Hannah he met some buddies for a beer after hanging out with Sam all day. Hannah would be fine alone. She didn’t seem to need his help with anything anymore. Gwen was pretty, and girls on a mission to piss off another guy were usually pretty generous in bed.
Hannah popped into his head—her smile, her sweetness, her in that negligee—and he knew he couldn’t go through with it.
“Actually, I was just about to leave. I don’t feel well and was going to head home to bed.”
“Perfect. Maybe Gwen could tuck you in…,” said Liz.
Now she was just being pushy.Read the room, lady.
“I’m sorry. Not tonight, Gwen.”
“Geez, Liz, let it go. Obviously, he’s not into me.” Gwen finally spoke.
“No. No, it’s not that. You’re a very attractive woman, and your boyfriend sounds like a real schmuck. I just think I might be coming down with something and wouldn’t want to give it to you. To be frank, I think I might throw up.” Was that gross enough to make her move on?
They both subtly took a step back. “Hope you feel better,” they mumbled in unison before turning and leaving.
He didn’t like lying, but he didn’t want to hurt her feelings and wasn’t in the mood to take her home.
Not wanting to hurt a woman’s feelings—hadn’t that been the story of his life? That was pretty much how he ended up where he was now. Well, that and his fear, scratch that, abject terror of commitment.
The irony of his reputation was the way he’d come by it. His intention had never been to just screw anything in a dress. He actually had great respect for women. The women he brought home all had problems or issues that they thought a quickie with a stranger would solve. Some wanted to get back at cheating partners, some wanted a rebound man after a nasty breakup, and some just needed to feel desirable. Jake, never wanting a woman to feel bad about herself, gave that to them.
Both parties knew going in that it was a one-time deal. The women got what they needed, and Jake never had to worry about “relationships.” He wasn’t really sure where his aversion to commitment came from. That was more that he’d just never felt the urge to settle down. The notion made his skin itch.
Looking back, maybe it was just that he hadn’t found anyone he wanted to be around for more than an hour or so. Admittedly, bars and grocery stores probably weren’t the best places to seek long-term relationships, but in his defense, he hadn’t been looking for that.
Lately, though, he found his thoughts on the subject morphing. Seeing Mitch and Sam so happy and in love made him think maybe there was more to relationships than just the physical part.
Getting older might be playing a role in his attitude shift as well. Could it be that as he matured, his desires and goals would also change?
And then, most recently, the dead doppelgänger. That really got him thinking about mortality. Did he want to die alone? Not really.
He’d changed a little, but was it enough to make a difference? And would it be permanent? He’d been entrenched in this man-whore persona for so long, he wasn’t sure. He’d always believed that not committing was a conscious decision he was making. But what if he just hadn’t met the right person? Andthat’swhy he hadn’t wanted to commit? Because no one had ever made him want to.
As he watched the women walk away, he realized he’d never turned down an invitation like that. He was used to women coming on to him. He was not used to saying no. Was it because of Hannah? Could Hannah be the woman? The one he would change his life for? Settle down with and commit to?
He conjured her up again. Her eyes sparkling with amusement at something he’d said. Her hair flowing in the breeze. Her warm body curled up next to his. In that moment, he decided that the answer was yes. He could handle one woman if that woman was Hannah. He could change for her. Or at least try. He’d have to tell her the truth about his reputation. They couldn’t base a relationship on a lie like that. But if she could get past it, he could ask her to be his girlfriend. No one said they had to get serious right away. Jumping straight to declarations of love and marriage proposals was too much, too soon. But he could let her know he was ready to try a relationship. Baby steps.
“Jake?” He turned around to see two more women standing behind him.
“You’vegotto be shitting me,” he mumbled under his breath. “Not again!”
“I’m Chloe. I’m not sure you remember me, but I wanted to introduce you to my friend.”
Jake stood and slapped a twenty next to his half-empty glass. “Sorry, ladies. Jake MacDonald is off the market.”
He left them wide-eyed and stunned, striding out of the bar, ready to go home, apologize to Hannah, tell her the truth, and ask for a second chance.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Hannah’s eyes were about to fall out of her head. After hours of staring at the computer screen, her vision was beginning to blur. She’d stumbled onto the location of her down payment money, finding the details in a subfolder of her banking emails, and was excited to share the news with Jake, but he still hadn’t come home. Either his racquetball game turned into a marathon tournament, or he was avoiding her because she’d come on too strong that morning and freaked him out.
To kill time, she was clicking around mindlessly into folders she’d saved to the documents section of her school’s website. The counselor had given her the login information to access all the class and homework history of her time as a Husky. And Jake had given her the login code to his laptop so she could use it whenever she needed to.
She clicked on a folder called “business plan,” assuming it was just another class project, but when she got to reading it, she realized it washerbusiness plan. For taking over the coffee shop! She’d last saved it about a week before the accident, so it was current information. Finally, something useful.
