All I can do is feel. I feel the warmth of his hand, the intensity of his gaze, and notice the way my body is leaning toward him.
"Ethan," I whisper.
"Tell me to stop," he says quietly. "If this is too much. If you need space. Tell me, and I'll step back."
I should. I know I should.
Instead, I shake my head. "I don't want you to stop."
His thumb traces along my jaw. "What do you want, Lily?"
"I don't know." It's the truth. I'm so far out of my depth I can't see the surface anymore. "I just know that when I'm with you, I feel... different. Like I can breathe deeper."
"I feel it too."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." His hand cups my cheek. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since the moment you knocked that book into my groceries."
A laugh bubbles out of me. "Seriously?"
"Seriously. You were so flustered. Absolutely adorably apologetic and beautifully, perfectly yourself. In that moment, you let your guard down and I saw the little side of you." Histhumb brushes across my lower lip. "I knew right then that I wanted to know you. All of you."
"This is insane."
"Maybe. But that doesn't make it less real."
We're so close now. Close enough that I can count his heartbeats in the pulse at his throat.
"I don't know how to do this," I admit.
"Neither do I. Sometimes you don’t have to have a rule book and instructions. We'll figure it out together." He leans down, his forehead resting against mine. "But, only if you want to."
Do I want to?
I think about the past few days. The way he listens. The way he sees me. The way he makes me feel valued, important, cared for.
I think about that book. About the dynamic that called to something deep inside me.
I think about standing at this crossroads, knowing that if I step forward, everything changes.
"I want to," I whisper.
Ethan's breath shudders out. "Thank God."
Then he kisses me.
It's soft and gentle at first. More of a question than a statement.
But when I part my lips, when I reach up to tangle my fingers in his hair, the kiss deepens.
His hands slide to my waist, pulling me closer and then he lifts me, setting me on the counter so we're at eye level.
The kiss turns hungry. Desperate. Like we're both starving and the other person is the only thing that can satisfy.
When we finally break apart, we're both breathing hard.
"Wow," I manage.
