“Good?” She blinked at me in shock.
“Yes, good.” I folded my arms across my chest. “You fucked up, you know it and I know it. That’s okay. In time, I’ll accept that you lied to me for eighteen months, I’ll get past the fact you looked me in the eye almost every day and didn’t tell me that you miscarried my baby or that you were going togive itto fucking strangers.”
“Brother—” Jett began, but I wasn’t listening.
“I hope it keeps you awake at night, the lies you told me.” I looked her over, and I saw the rigid way she held herself. “You changed your mind, and I thank fuck that you did because, Quinn, if you had carried my baby to term and handed it over tothose bastards, I would be in jail because I would have killed you.”
“Easy, Gray,” Ash warned me.
“And all that means nothing,” I continued, ignoring them all. “It means fuck all because what happened, happened. You weren’t the only person who lost something, Quinn. And we’re telling you,beggingyou, to help us so these fuckers never do this to anyone else. That they don’t prey on confused, helpless girls and take advantage of them. Do you know none of us sleep at night, seeing those films? Thinking that could have been you? Do you know that it consumes us, that the very thought of you being on that table makes all of us sick?” I ignored the tears that were streaming down her face. “And we’re asking for your help. We’re asking you to help those who may have just been as uncertain and scared as you, and you tell us what? We’re preventing you from moving on? Are you fucking kidding me right now?”
“Get out.”
I stared at her as she met my fierce glare and raised her chin in defiance. “No.”
“Get the fuck out of my apartment. I don’t want to look at you.” Angrily, she wiped her eyes and pointed to the door. “I said leave.”
“C’mon.” Ash nudged me with his shoulder as he passed. “You need your hand looked at.”
The randomness of his statement made me look at my hand, and I saw it was swelling again, the cuts from the basement angry and red.
“Jett gets to stay?” I asked her quietly as I tried to flex my hand before I looked up at her. She nodded once, and I barked out a laugh. “Maybe you’ll have better luck this time and finally fuck the Santo you want to.”
“Gray—” Jett protested, but I walked past them both to meet Ash at the door.
Quickly, we both left and headed outside. We walked in silenceas my demons raced through my head, and my temper rose higher and higher. “I need to fuck shit up,” I declared suddenly as I came to an abrupt stop.
Ash turned to look at me, and I was aware I had a lot to answer to my cousin, but right now, I needed to pummel something.
“Think you fucked that up back there spectacularly,” Ash said dryly.
I snorted as I looked at my hand again. “She pisses me off,” I muttered.
“Really?” His sarcasm didn’t go unnoticed. “Your hand’s fucked. You know that, don’t you?” Ash reached out and looked at it. “You’re not gonna get to play.”
I winced at the truth of it and looked at my cousin. “What the hell do I do now?”
Ash stood a few feet away from me. “Was it always like this? Between you two? The . . . desire?”
“You mean the rage?” I asked, and he gave a small snort at my terminology as he half shrugged. “Yeah, I think it was.”
“I must have been so blind.” He ran a hand over his jaw as he assessed me. “Why did you never say anything?”
“Because I was fifteen and stupid,” I snapped. “I never even considered she would go out with you,” I admitted, and then saw his affronted glare. “No offense. I thought she knew she was mine,” I added as I looked over my shoulder at her apartment.
“‘She was mine?’” Ash asked me with a raised eyebrow. “You sound like a possessive dick,” he told me.
“I am.” I resumed walking, and I heard him follow. “Look, I don’t need to tell you that I’m not Jett. We’re all family, you know me. I’m not going to fall over myself for forgiveness, I’m not that guy, and you would hate me if I was. You’ve seen me at my worst, and you’ve seen me at my best. I’m not going to sugarcoat shit: I fucked up. She’s mine, I should have told you to back off, and I didn’t. That’s on me. Everything that happened before and after isfor me and her to fix.” I groaned. “If it can ever be fixed, but when she was with you, she was withyou. She didn’t cheat,” I added.
“I know. She told me.”
“Okay, good. I’m a bastard, I get it. But I’m not a fucking bastard,” I muttered as we walked.
“You’re a shit cousin,” Ash said as we passed the rows of the dorms, and I grinned. “Worse friend.”
“I probably am.”
“Not the best brother either,” he added as he scuffed his foot off the sidewalk. “You know it’s never been like that between them.”
