“Don’t be stupid,” I murmured as I walked past him and up the stairs. “This isn’t a conversation for outside.”
I heard his answering grunt, and then he closed the door behind him.
Inside, he looked around, taking in the pale walls with only one shelf, the neutral-toned couch, and chair. Ash hadn’t been inside my dorm room since I got here, and I saw him note the size even as he leaned forward to look at the few framed photos I had.
“Communal kitchen?”
“Yes,” I answered as I unzipped my boots and dumped them inside my bedroom at the door. When I went back to the living room, we sat and stared at each other in silence for a moment. “How do you want to do this?”
Ash sat on my chair and leaned forward. “I don’t know,” he told me as he stared at the floor. “I’ve been pissed off for so long I don’t know where to start.”
“You want me to start?”
“You didn’t actually cheat, did you?” he said instead as he raised his head to look at me.
I needed to be honest. “The intent was there,” I spoke softly.
“But nothing happened? Which is why when I was screaming at you and kicking the shit out of furniture, you wouldn’t answer who you slept with.” He leaned back and crossed his arms. “Because there was no one to name.”
“It would have made no difference. The damage was done. Iwanted to have sex with someone who wasn’t my boyfriend, so it’s moot.”
“When did you first hook up? With Gray.”
Swallowing, I held his stare. “Not long after we broke up.”
Ash nodded like he was expecting it. “How many times?”
“A few.” My voice was quiet, but I saw his answering nod again.
“He didn’t know you were pregnant?”
“No.”
Ash was looking everywhere but at me as his head nodded, like he was having a conversation with himself. “I didn’t think so, he would have killed someone.” Ash grunted. “He maystillkill someone.”
“I know.” My whisper was barely audible.
“You ripped my heart out,” he told me.
“I didn’t mean to.” I was scared to move as Ash looked at me with his emotions open. “I didn’t know how you felt. We’d never really been serious.”
“Now I know why.” Ash’s voice was dry as he stood, not to leave but to pace. My apartment was a decent size, but Ash was six-four; he was making me feel claustrophobic. “When you told me that day in the classroom that either you or I would have cheated first, it really stunned me.” Walking over to my shelf, he picked up the photo of the four of us. Jett and I were standing together, his arm over my shoulders. Gray stood beside me, his arms crossed against his chest, and Ash to the right of him. I loved this picture. Jett and I were laughing, Ash was grinning, and Gray stood stoic in the middle, a slight smirk on his face. “You want to know something?” he continued without waiting for an answer. “At first, I thought it was Jett.”
That shocked me. “Really?” I pulled my legs up onto the seat, and my chin rested on my knees. “I guess most people would since they don’t understand our friendship.”
Ash grunted as he sat back down. “He’s so protective of you,but after my own paranoia calmed down, I realized Jett and you together wouldn’t work.” Dark blue eyes met mine. “But Gray . . .” He bit the side of his thumb as he looked back at the photos. “Gray was always possessive of you. I just didn’t see it, I guess.”
“It’s not your fault,” I said as I watched him struggle with what had happened.
“I can’t help but feel that it is though,” Ash admitted as he looked my way. “I mean, I got the girl, or thought I did, and Jett warned me not to mess it up. Did he know?”
“No.” My reply was immediate. “He only found out last week.”
“Nah.” Ash shook his head in denial. “There’s no way he didn’t know before then.”
“I think he suspected,” I whispered as I leaned back slightly. “But he never asked me outright until last week.”
“Why didn’t you tell him?”
