She huffs a small laugh to herself with a roll of her eyes, popping the lid off her to-go container. Stabbing a piece of chicken, she brings the fork to her mouth, slowly dragging it out with an exaggerated moan.
“Good girl.” Her cheeks flush, just like they used to. It’s always been so easy to get her flustered. “I remember walking into a coffee shop, seeing a girl I’d been obsessed with for a few semesters, and she tried to steal my drink.”
Covering her mouth, she chortles as she finishes chewing, then insists, “I didn’t steal your drink; you offered it. But what I was alluding to is how you never wanted to be my friend, and I never wanted you to be either… I think we need wine for this.”
“Good call.”
We both leave our phones to retrieve our glasses and wine. When I return, she has a white that appears to be Chardonnay. As I pop my cork, she does the same with her mechanical wine opener, but instead of pouring hers into a glass, she drinks straight from the bottle. After a few gulps, she sets it down, bracing herself on the kitchen counter and taking a few deep breaths.
“I don’t want to be friends," she mutters quietly, and I pretend I didn’t hear her, slowly pouring my Pinot Grigio into my stemless wine glass. “Isaac.” At hearing my name, my eyes immediately find hers through the screen. “I don’t think I can do this.”
Yet again, I’ve likely pushed for too much, too soon, but I have to know where her head is at. “If I wasn’t here, you weren’t there, I wasn’t Prime Minister, and you weren’t Governor… would you give me a second chance?”
“Yes.” Her whispered word doesn’t hold an ounce of hesitation. “That’s why I don’t think I can be your friend.”
“You’re correct that we were never friends, but since I can’t be anything more right now, will you give me a chance to try?”
In truth, I’d marry her tomorrow if I knew she’d say yes. I never should’ve left New York and have no idea how I’ll be able to repair this, but there has to be a way. I just need time to win her back.
Livy chews on her lip, then replies, “On one condition.”
“And what’s that?”
“You can’t wear those sexy-as-fuck glasses when we’re talking.”
I huff a small laugh, then slide them off, setting them aside. “You have a deal.”
11
Olivia
JANUARY
Aubrey enters the hotel room grumbling something to herself, and I can’t help teasing, “Let me guess, the date with Brian didn’t go well?” not looking up from my computer.
“Ryan. And, no, it didn’t go well.” She slides into the chair across from me, tossing her purse onto the one next to it with a thump. “I should’ve sent you on these dates in my place for photo ops; they were a waste of my time.”
“So, you want to wastemytime?” Still, I don’t glance up.
“I… Livy, can you stop what you’re doing for four seconds and look at me while I tell you this.” I do as she asks, pulling my hands from the keyboard and sitting back in my chair to give her my full attention. “I’ve never been in love.”
“Of course you have,” I scoff, folding my arms over my chest.
Her eyes narrow. “No, I haven’t. I’ve dated half of New York and California with no luck.”
“Surely, in one day you haven’t exhausted all of D.C., too?”
“Basically,” she sighs. Even if I was joking, it was an asshole thing for me to say. I’m about to apologize, but she surprises me when she asks, “What does it feel like?”
My brows knit. “What does what feel like?”
“Love?”
I take a deep breath as I summon the word-vomit that’s about to escape me. “You know how there are moments and people in your life that you’ll never forget?” She nods. “Remember that guy I dated after Isaac? We totally hit it off. He was vegan, and I was willing to go to vegan restaurants with him to make sure we’d always be able to find something he could eat. I even checked my tags to ensure no animal products were in my clothes… It was a whole thing.”
“But it wasn’t enough,” she sighs.
With a smile, I echo, “It wasn’t enough. Love isn’t supposed to be one-sided. I’ll always remember him, even if we were never really in love, because he taught me that I shouldn’t change myself for someone else. That is a moment I’ll never forget, and I hold onto it daily. When I look back on every man I’ve ever dated, only two of them didn’t make me change who I was—Isaac and Phil. Except there’s a difference between loving someone and being in love. I love you. You’re my best friend, my confidant, my rock. But—spoiler—I’m not in love with you. That’s how it was with Phil too.”
