The questions are too painful for me to contemplate, especially when I can feel my own vitality draining away by the day. Walking has become difficult, my joints ache, and it’s getting harder and harder to sleep.
Not that I could. Even if the pain running through my veins like fire would quit for a moment, my anxiety won’t.
I head to the back of the hall and go through to the kitchen. I find Sadie there, just as I expected to. She looks worse than I, if that’s even possible.
Her beautiful, long hair is pulled up messily behind her head, tangled in a hair clip. Her clothes hang loosely off her, an old, faded sweater and a pair of gray track pants. Her eyes look wide and bright, sunken into her face with dark circles aroundthem. Her skin has a sheen of sweat and grime, as if she hasn’t showered in days.
She’s leaning over the bench, completely unaware of me as she carefully pours liquid from one beaker to another. The resulting mixture is bright green, and she watches the substances combine with great interest. Then, she takes a pinch of red dust from a nearby dish and sprinkles some over the top.
The mixture ignites with a sharp bang and practically blows up in her face. I jump forward to pull her back, but by the time I get there, the brief flash has died down, even though it leaves a trail of smoke in the air and a cloud of soot on Sadie’s face.
“Dammit!” she cries.
I grab her shoulders and try to pull her away. “Be careful,” I say, pushing against her and disturbed by how little it affects her. “You almost set yourself on fire!”
“I don’t care!” she replies, her voice low and harsh. “I have to do something.”
I put my arms around her and just hold her. She clings to my waist, gasping as she tries to hold back sobs.
Since the moment Rachel died, Sadie has been researching through the books on witchcraft and trying every spell she can to cure the disease. At first, the other wolves were furious, but over the course of the week, things had gotten so bad that no one has the energy left to be angry with her.
Sadie’s presence at Rachel’s funeral was also a tense moment, but I stood by her side, silently affirming that she had every right to be there. Rachel’s death was an unexpected tragedy, the first time someone had died suddenly from thedisease, and sadly, it heralded a quickening of the sickness. More people began to succumb almost the moment we laid her to rest.
“How is Cassie?” Sadie asks. “Have you heard?”
“Yes,” I reply. “She’s with Jean and the other children. Jean is sick, but not too badly, and some of the grandmothers are there with her to help. No child under ten has been affected so far.”
“That’s good,” Sadie says, nodding against my chest. “Does she miss us?” Her voice trembles, and I hug her even more tightly.
“Yes, she does,” I answer, stroking her hair. “But she understands that people are very sick and we’re trying to help them.”
I feel Sadie nod again. She clings to my shoulders, her fingers gathering my shirt as she embraces me in a moment of high emotion.
“I have to—” she says breathlessly. “I have to find a cure!”
Suddenly, she pushes me away and steps forward to the bench, leaning on the edge as she scowls down at the ingredients and utensils scattered across the table.
“Maybe thyme?” she mutters to herself. “No, it would contradict the sage. I just don’t know enough about this!”
“Sadie,” I say, grabbing her shoulder. “Come away, please, you haven’t slept—”
“I don’t need to sleep!” she almost yells. “I need to fix this!”
“You also need to eat and rest!” I yell back. “You can’t help anyone if you drop dead from exhaustion.”
“I’m not going to drop dead,” she argues. “But they will if I don’t do something!”
I take a step back, disturbed that even though I pulled hard on her shoulder, she didn’t budge.
My strength has truly left me. I’m not even as strong as an ordinary man of my size.
“Sadie…” I sigh, completely lost for words. “It isn’t your fault.”
She keeps her head down and her back to me, but she doesn’t say anything. I can’t think of anything else to say, and I just stand there, feeling completely useless.
Using magic to heal the pack was an idea even I was skeptical of. Right after the funeral, Sadie started researching. She said that some of the healing spells were so strong, there was a good chance they could help. I was willing to let her keep reading and even make some potions, but as soon as the council got wind of it, they wanted her back on trial as a traitor.
Because so many people were getting sick, I had a good excuse not to go. While I was setting up the hospital, Sadie was home in our kitchen, coming up with potions and concoctions she took from the old books. At first, she came up with a few things that eased people’s symptoms, and this quieted much of the pack.
