“I don’t think you should hang out with me,” I say. “It’s going to look really bad for you, and I’m worried about the backlash.”
“I’ll be fine,” Rachel says, helping me clear the table. “Besides, I don’t mind doing dishes with you.”
“Oh, we’re doing dishes, now?”
“It’s a great way to garner goodwill,” she laughs. “Find a job no one likes, always volunteer for it, do it well, and you’ll be irreplaceable.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I say, helping her stack plates near a big tub of water and suds.
A couple of other women help with washing and drying the dishes, and for a short while, the atmosphere feels relaxed. We’re just women helping each other out, and a sense of community and shared responsibility makes my chest glow with hope.
The day wraps up near sunset, and I help some of the older or sick wolves get packed up and to their vehicles. Even though I can tell they don’t like me, they’re surprised that I offered to help them, and I can tell they appreciate it in spite of themselves.
I feel like the day went well, and I’m excited to tell Rhys about it on the way home. To my surprise, he engages with Cassie but barely even acknowledges me.
Maybe he’s missed her today and just wants to catch up. It’s okay, don’t panic.
I keep my emotions in check after we get home and get Cassie ready for bed. After her bath and story, she drops off to sleep, and Rhys kisses her on the forehead before going towards his room.
“Rhys?” I ask, hovering behind him.
“What?” he replies, looking over his shoulder.
I’m lost for words, and full of confusion. I don’t know what he’s feeling, and I’m too scared to ask.
Doesn’t he trust me?
“Is everything… okay?” I ask hesitantly.
“Yes, fine,” he says, his tone flat. “Did you need something?”
To spend the night in your arms.
“No,” I answer. “I’m okay.”
“Goodnight, then,” he says, and walks away without another word.
***
I go to bed hoping for a better day tomorrow, but Rhys remains impersonal to me the next morning. We return to our usual weekday routine of Cassie going with Jean, and both of us driving to work. I’m relieved to have Trina and Lacey to talk to, even though they aren’t part of the pack and can’t vouch for me. However, Fern is cold to me, and her distrust cuts deep.
She gave me this job, and she was one of the first people to accept me. If I’ve lost her, I’ve lost everything.
A couple of days go by with no improvement from Rhys or Fern. I start to feel desperate, as if all I’m doing is waiting for my doom.
If I can turn this around, Cassie will be safe, and Rhys will be happy. I’m sure he still wants me. He just has to play along for the pack.
I keep telling myself that, but with every passing day, I believe it less. One morning, I wake up so depressed that I feel like the only solution would be to escape using my powers.
They couldn’t stop me, I know that. I could take Cassie and just disappear.
But when I greet Rhys at breakfast, even though he’s still cold to me, I realize I can’t run away. I can’t leave his pack slowly dying, and whatever happens to Rhys, I can’t abandon him, either.
I love him. I can’t leave him… even if the only thing left to do is watch him die.
The thought hurts me so much, I retreat into my shell, but by the time evening comes around, I’m fighting again. I know that staying with Rhys through sickness is a strength, and no matter how bad it gets, I won’t leave his side.
Since the rest of the pack is only pulling further away from me, I decide to organize an evening for the girls. I set up the backyard with fairy lights and music, bake lots of treats, and get a few cases of wine. I even set the guys up to watch the kids so Jean can come.
