Each time they do, warmth floods through Evran's chest. But as the meal winds down and people begin dispersing to their evening activities, a realization settles over him with uncomfortable clarity.
Vaike isn't going to come to him.
Last night had been different—Evran had come to the library, had initiated the conversation that led to everything else. But now, in the light of day with the routines of the stronghold resuming, Vaike is maintaining the same careful distance he's always kept in public settings.
It makes sense, Evran realizes as he makes his way back to his own quarters. Vaike has been so concerned about the power dynamic between them, so worried about making Evran feel pressured or obligated. He's not going to show up at Evran's door and assume he's welcome. He's not going to take for granted that this morning means Evran wants this to continue.
If Evran wants to see him—wants to be with him again—he's going to have to be the one to make that clear. To choose actively, deliberately, in a way that leaves no room for Vaike to worry he's being coerced.
The realization is both empowering and terrifying. This is his decision. His choice. No one is going to force it or expect it or make assumptions about what he owes. But that also means he has to find the courage to act on what he wants, to be vulnerable and risk potential rejection.
He paces his room as the evening deepens, nerves building with each passing minute. What if Vaike has changed his mind? What if this morning was enough for him and he doesn't want more? What if Evran had been a disappointment? What if Evran shows up at his door and the Warlord sends him away?
But beneath the fear is something stronger—the memory of how Vaike had looked at him this morning. The warmth in his eyes when their gazes met across the dining hall. The way he'dsaid "tonight" with such certainty, like it was a promise they'd both understood.
Vaike wants him. Evran knows this, believes it. The only question is whether he has the courage to claim what's being offered.
The moon is climbing toward its peak when Evran finally makes his decision. He changes into clean clothes—nothing formal, just comfortable wool and leather that won't raise questions if someone sees him in the corridors. His hands shake slightly as he pulls on his boots, and he has to pause to take several steadying breaths before he can make himself leave his room.
The corridors are quiet at this hour, most people having retired for the night or gathered in smaller groups for private conversations. Evran knows the way to Vaike's chambers–would know the way even if he hadn’t been there this morning—has walked past them before, always feeling a pull he couldn't quite name. Now that pull has a purpose, a destination.
His heart hammers harder with each step. What is he doing? This is the Warlord's private space, his sanctuary from the constant demands of leadership. Who is Evran to presume he's welcome there just because he was allowed there once before?
But Vaike had said "tonight." Had held him through the previous night and kissed him goodbye this morning with clear reluctance to let him go. Surely that means something. Surely Evran isn't misreading this completely.
He reaches the heavy wooden door that marks Vaike's chambers and stands there for a long moment, gathering his courage. His hand is raised to knock when doubt floods through him again. This is ridiculous. He should go back to his own room, wait to see if Vaike seeks him out, not presume—
No.
He lowers his hand, takes a breath, then raises it again with more determination. He knocks—three firm raps that sound too loud in the quiet corridor.
For several heartbeats, nothing happens, and Evran's stomach drops. Maybe Vaike is already asleep. Maybe he's not here. Maybe—
The door opens.
Vaike stands in the doorway, and Evran's breath catches. The Warlord is dressed casually—loose trousers and an unlaced shirt, his hair down around his shoulders for once. He looks relaxed, comfortable, absolutely handsome in the warm lamplight spilling from his chambers.
And his expression when he sees Evran transforms into something that makes all of Evran's anxiety dissolve like snow in sunlight.
"Evran," Vaike says, and there's so much warmth in his voice, so much pleasure, surprise and obvious want. "I was hoping you'd come."
"You were?" The words come out smaller than Evran intends for them to. "I wasn't sure... I thought maybe I was being presumptuous, coming to your private chambers without invitation."
"You never need an invitation," Vaike says firmly, reaching out to take Evran's hand. "Not anymore. I want you here—I just didn't want to assume anything. Didn't want to make you feel obligated to come to me."
He pulls Evran gently into the room, closing the door behind them, and suddenly they're alone in the warm, private space. Evran has a brief impression of the chambers that he hadn’t taken notice of before—larger than his own, more richly furnished but still practical rather than ostentatious, with a fire crackling in the hearth and books scattered on various surfaces.
But most of his attention is on Vaike, who's looking at him like he's something precious, like the Warlord can't quite believe Evran is really here.
"I wanted to come," Evran says, his voice steadier now. "I've been wanting to come all evening, but I was nervous. Afraid you might not want—"
Vaike cuts him off by pulling him close, one hand cupping his face while the other slides around his waist. "I always want you," he says, the words rough with emotion. "Every moment of every day, I want you near me. But I need you to choose this freely, to come to me because you want to, not because you think you should."
"I choose this," Evran says, leaning into the touch. "I choose you. I'm here because I want to be here, because I spent all evening wishing I was with you instead of anywhere else."
The admission seems to break something in Vaike's carefully maintained control. He pulls Evran fully into his arms, holding him tight against his chest, and Evran can feel the tension draining from both of them as they simply hold each other.
"I was trying to be patient," Vaike admits against Evran's hair. "Trying to give you space, not pressure you, let you set the pace. But gods, it's difficult when all I want is to keep you here, keep you close, never let you leave."
