Father used me as a weapon. A replaceable tool.
Slamming the book shut, Thori stood, toppling over the chair as he went. He needed to talk to Njord. He put down the book with more force than necessary, sending pieces of thehnefataflgame flying.
Hel.
The door opened, and he heard Njord’s soft footsteps approaching. Thori froze. He needed to talk to Njord, but he didn’t want the sea god to see him like this.
“Thori? What’s wrong?”
Njord’s voice was soft with concern, and Thori almost couldn’t bear it. Pressing his eyes shut against the tears threatening to fall, he stumbled closer, sinking to his knees. Tired. Defeated.
“The bog mother,” he blurted. “She’s an ancient goddess also known as Nerthus. And her dwelling place is here.”
“What?”
He couldn’t meet Njord’s gaze, but he gestured miserably at the book on the table.
“The Bog Mother. Mýrmóðir. Nerthus. They’re all the same. The same ancient goddess, or at least connected somehow.” He drew a shuddering breath. “Odin knew.”
His voice wavered on the last words. Pathetic. But the realization of the full extent of Odin’s betrayal kept rolling overhim in waves, each one worse than the last. He couldn’t pull himself together, couldn’t think straight.
“Thori.” Njord’s hands tangled in his hair, warm and steady. “Breathe. Take your time.”
But Thori couldn’t stop the truth from tumbling out, couldn’t contain the bitter fury rising in his chest.
“What you said to me in Nidavellir, you were right, you know? When Father sent me to raid Nóatún, his only goal was to increase his power. He told me you’d stolen treasures from Asgard, the Hort of Nerthus, he called it. Weapons of divine power hidden here at Nóatún. I thought it was about settling a score, that Odin had finally offered me a chance to prove my worth. But it was never about me, not even about Asgard’s honor.”
Thori laughed a little hysterically.
“It was about the power of an ancient goddess, and naturally Father wanted it all to himself. He was more than willing to let my warriors die, just to get his hands on another source of forbidden knowledge.”
The tears he’d been fighting spilled over, hot trails of shame trickling down his cheeks. Thori leaned forward, hiding his face against Njord’s thigh.
“Do you know what’s funny? I wish he’d told me. I wish I’d been part of his dishonorable schemes instead of just his…tool.”
He felt so stupid. The dumb warrior who went where Odin sent him. A convenient weapon, nothing more.
“I’m such a fool.”
“You were betrayed.”
Njord’s hands combed gently through his hair, soothing in a way no enemy’s touch had any right to be.
“I should’ve known better, but instead I fell for Father’s lies.Hel, he didn’t even have to try too hard, so eager was I to matter, and in doing so—”
Guilt crashed over him with renewed force. Norns, what had he done? He’d led good warriors to die for Odin’s ambition, had raided Vanaheim because he’d believed in lies, had killed Njord’s dragon because…
“I wronged you and theVanir, and I accept any punishment you deem suitable.”
“Thori.” Njord’s hands slipped under his arms, and he pulled Thori to his feet with gentle strength. “It’s okay. I’m here. I won’t give you a punishment you can’t handle.”
He clung to Njord’s shoulders, crying quietly against his chest, and Njord let him, mumbling words of comfort. When he started to calm, Njord guided them down onto a seat, pulling Thori right into his lap.
“That’s more like it,” Njord mumbled against Thori’s hair. “How are you feeling?”
The genuine concern in Njord’s voice had Thori almost bursting into tears again, but he composed himself.
“Better,” he hiccupped.
