I lean against the doorway and arch a brow. “I can see that.”
He glances at my dad, who gives him an encouraging nod in my direction. “Dinner will be ready in ten.”
My pulse kicks into overdrive as Noah brushes past me, enveloping my hand in his. He pulls me upstairs to my bedroom, and I follow without a word, curious about why he’s here and what that was between him and Dad.
“What’s going on?” I ask again when he closes the door behind us.
“I needed to see you.”
My stomach flutters from his declaration, but I try not to let myself get too excited, because I feel like there’s more to his visit than this. “Okay, but why not text to meet up? Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you’re here, and you have no idea what it does to me seeing you with my family, but I know you were uncomfortable las?—”
He cuts me off by smashing his lips to mine and backing me against the door.
I grunt in surprise, but heat spreads through my body, and I kiss him back, savouring the taste of him on my tongue.
“You pulled me back from the brink of a massive panic attack last night,” he murmurs against my lips, “and I realised how much I need you, consequences with my dad be damned. I have to stop hiding in the shadows. It’s not fair to you, and it’s not fair to me.”
My heart pounds at the intensity of what he’s saying, but he’s not finished.
“I’ve tried to switch off my feelings for you, but I can’t. The moment I met you, I fell for the guy who lives his life unapologetically free, who doesn’t give a fuck what others think of him. You weren’t afraid to call me out on my bullshit when I was treating you like shit, and I need that. I need you to tell me when to pull my head in, and I need you to help me stop living a lie. I’m fucking terrified of my dad and what he could do to you, to us. But I can’t keep going the way I’m going.” He takes a shuddering breath. “I’ve been hurting myself, and I need it to stop.”
Unease settles in the pit of my stomach. “What do you mean you’ve been hurting yourself?”
Releasing a heavy exhale, he takes a step back and unbuttons his jeans. My damn cock stirs to life, but I tell the fucker to calm down because I know I’m not going to like what I’m about to see.
“After Nathan left, I needed a way to release the pain and chaos. Cutting was my only way of dealing.” Noah averts his gaze as he pushes his pants down.
At first, I’m distracted by his pierced dick, because of course the arsehole isn’t wearing any underwear, but then he moves it aside and I see the small white scars lining the inner crease of his groin and along the tops of his thighs.
My blood runs cold.
I don’t know what to say.
Lifting my gaze to Noah’s, my heart twists when I see the shame as he bends to pull his pants up.
“Noah—” My voice cracks, and I clear my throat.
“I don’t want your pity.”
I cup the back of his neck and rest my forehead against his. “I don’t pity you. You’ve been through some pretty heavy shit. But I hate that your dad’s actions drove you to this.”
He swallows. “I don’t want to feel like this anymore.”
I press my lips to his as Mum’s voice calls up the stairs, letting us know dinner’s ready.
“Can we talk about this later?”
He nods before teasing me with another brush of his lips. I groan, wanting nothing more than to deepen the kiss, but there’s nothing worse than a cold steak.
We relaxon my bed after dinner, and I love how he rests his head on my chest; his leg draped over mine. It’s like he was meant to fit against me.
“Ask whatever you want,” he says, his finger tracing distracting patterns over my abs.
I hesitate. “How long has this been going on?”
“Since Nathan left Perth.” About two years ago.
“You really liked him.”
