“Everything okay?” she asks, studying my face.
I run a hand through my hair, unsure of where to start, and in the end decide to just rip the Band-Aid off. “Zac’s Romeo.”
Hannah’s slow blink as she processes what I said is the cutest.
I’d be able to appreciate it more if I wasn’t still freaking the fuck out about my panic attack.
For the first time in a long time, someone talked me off the ledge, but that terrifies me because I don’t want to rely on Zac. If I do, he has the power to completely shatter me. If things don’t work out with him, there won’t be any coming back from that. I can’t do it again. I’m barely surviving as it is.
“Zac’s Romeo?” she repeats.
I nod.
“How did this all come about? When you left my place, you swore you were done with Euphoria. How did you find out Zac was your guy?”
I explain everything that happened from the moment I left her dorm to dinner at Zac’s, leaving out the hot and heavy parts.
“Huh.”
“That’s your response?” I narrow my eyes. “Huh?”
She shrugs, a smirk teasing her lips. “I mean, I could spot the sexual chemistry between you two a mile off.”
I groan and drop my head into my hands. “Not helping, Han.”
Fuck, if she can pick it, who knows how many others suspect us as well. How the hell are we supposed to hide a relationship if Hannah picked up on it before we even realised we were a thing?
“Relax, Noah.” She takes a sip of her coffee, humming in delight. “I love you, but you overthink way too much. Take away all the stuff with your dad. How do you feel about it being Zac?”
“I’ve been attracted to him since I moved to Beckford,” I admit, lifting my head.
“Okay,” she says calmly. “So, this is a good thing.”
I shake my head. “I’m going to stuff everything up.”
“Why do you think that?”
“Because it’s what I do. It’s what my dad does. He ruins my life. He’ll ruin Zac’s too. Hell, if he finds out about your involvement in all this, he’ll probably ruin your life as well.”
“You’re overthinking again,” she chides. “Your dad won’t find out about anything until we’re ready for him to find out, and by then, we’ll have figured out how you can live your life free of his homophobic bullshit.”
“I love how you’re so confident about that.”
She reaches across the table and squeezes my hand. “Everything will work out, Noah. You have me and you have Zac, and I know you’re scared of telling them, but you’ll have your teammates as well when you’re ready. Look at how accepting they are of Zac. They don’t care about your sexuality. You’re not alone in this fight.”
Tears sting the corners of my eyes, but I blink them away. Apart from Nathan, I’ve never had anyone on my side.
When the waitress appears to take our food order, I use the time to compose myself. Hannah has talked me down from another ledge, and I’m once again struck by how lucky I am to have her in my life. She’s another person I feel like I don’t deserve.
“How have you not been snapped up?” I ask her once we’ve ordered. “If I weren’t into guys, I’d be locking you down fast.”
She smiles ruefully. “Probably because all straight men our age are too focused on getting their dicks wet than having a relationship. But I’m not in any hurry.”
We spend the next hour chatting about classes, Hannah’s friends, Zac, and soccer, before I have to rush off to my nine o’clock lecture. I’m feeling a lot better aboutgoing after what I want with Zac knowing I have him and Hannah to support me.
It hasn’t erased the fear of my dad and what he’ll do when he finds out, but it’s given me strength to open up to other people, which is why I find myself pulling into the Kincaids’ driveway after I finish my classes for the day.
Being Tuesday, we don’t have training, but I notice Zac’s car isn’t here when I stroll up to his front door and knock.
