I search again, items clattering to the bathroom tiles in my desperation. Not a razor in sight.
My gaze snaps to the shower, but there’s only body wash, shampoo, and conditioner on the shelf.
Goddammit.
I swipe angrily at the mess on the floor.
My skin tingles with the need to purge, and I scratch at my arms, but it doesn’t make a difference. I hate this feeling.
My phone vibrates against the tiles where I dropped it.
It takes me a moment to will my body to move, but I reach for it, still feeling like my lungs are going to burst.
Zac: You never have to apologise to me, Noah. I may not fully understand what you’ve been through, but I am here for you. You don’t have to go through it alone.
A guttural sound rips from my chest, but the tightening recedes. I draw in my first breath, then another. Deep, gasping breaths that fill my lungs. The tension coiling around my muscles releases, and I slump against the wall.
Noah: You have no idea how much I needed to hear that.
His reply is almost instantaneous.
Zac: You set the pace. I’m with you every step of the way. I won’t rush you or force you to do anything you’re not ready for.
Noah: What if I can’t stand up to my dad? What if I’m forced to hide in the shadows forever?
Zac: Then I’ll be here. But when you’re ready, I’ll support you. Whatever it takes. I’m not scared.
Noah: I’m terrified.
I swallow before typing out my next message, all my insecurities rearing their ugly heads again.
Noah: I don’t deserve you.
Zac: Yeah, you do.
Three simple words, but the effect they have on me is immense. The need to purge dissipates, and a sense of hope engulfs me. Maybe we can make this work. Maybe with Zac I can finally be free.
Zac: I’ll see you tomorrow.
Noah: See you tomorrow.
Chapter 25
Noah
Noah: Can you meet me at the campus coffee shop? 7:30?
Hannah: You better order me the biggest double shot they have. You know I don’t have class until 10.
Noah: Done. I’ll even include breakfast.
Hannah: This sounds serious.
Noah: It is.
Hannah: See you there.
As promised, I have two extra-large double-shot lattes ready and waiting when Hannah sits down across from me.
