I haven’t forgotten about Theo, though, and I find myself driving towards his house instead of the university afterI leave Noah’s. I’ve already missed my first lecture and study group, so I may as well write the whole day off.
No one answers when I knock on the front door at the Walters. My stomach churns. Theo was on a pretty intense trip when we fell asleep last night, and if he’s not home, I don’t know where he is. I knock again, and when there’s still no answer, I pull out my phone and call him.
It rings out, then goes to voicemail.
Shit.
I can’t go home until I know he’s safe, so I make my way to the side gate and type in the four-digit code. Jade’s at school, and his parents are at work, but I know where they keep the spare key for the back door, so I let myself in, closing the sliding door behind me.
I’m at the base of the stairs when a door opens from above. With relief flooding through me, I call out, “Yo, Theo. Is that you?”
“Kincade?” He appears on the landing, bleary-eyed and dishevelled. “What are you doing here?”
I gape at him when I reach the top of the stairs. “Are you serious? I came to check on you after you disappeared on me this morning.”
“Huh?” He rubs a hand over his face. “What are you talking about?” His eyes widen, panic crossing his features. “Wait. We didn’t?—”
My lips twist in disgust. “Fuck no.”
His shoulders slump in relief. “Thank fuck for that. I had the most bizarre dream. I was spinning out hard,” he says with a groan, turning and walking down the hall to his bedroom.
I follow, dropping into the bean bag in the corner while he falls face-first onto his bed. “It wasn’t a dream, dude. You’ve been on a trip.”
“How bad was I?”
“Pretty bad. You ended up in Henderson and called me to come get you. I knew your parents would castrate you if they saw you like that, so I took you to Noah’s and we crashed on their sofa bed. You were gone before I woke up this morning, and in the state you were in last night, I had to make sure you got home all right.”
“Thanks.”
I kick his foot, and he rolls on his side to face me.
“What’s going on with you, man? You’ve been pretty wild since graduation.”
He rakes a hand through his hair. “It’s scary. You spend so much of your life at school, then you’re thrust into the world with no routine and no guidance. I don’t know what to do with myself.”
I roll my eyes. “Maybe get a job?”
He grimaces. “I was offered a junior CFD engineer job in Sydney, but I turned it down.”
“For someone who’s extremely intelligent, you’re pretty stupid. You decided to stay in this small town, getting drunk and high and doing god knows what with god knows who, instead of moving on with your life?”
“It’s not that easy.”
I study him with a frown. “What’s keeping you here?”
He swallows. “I know Beckford. I know what to expect here.”
I consider his words. “It’s scary as hell to step out of your comfort zone, but there’s a difference between staying in Beckford and finding something you want to do with your life and partying and writing yourself off. At some point, you have to grow up and move on with your life. If you keep going the way you’re going, you’ll end up dead in a ditch. Don’t use staying here as an excuse.”
“Everyone else has their shit together. Luca’s playing in the EPL. Mitch is working for his dad’s pharmaceuticalcompany. West is playing in the A-League down in Melbourne. Dylan’s travelling with his girlfriend. I’m scared to take the plunge and move to Sydney to work in my dream job because…” He hesitates, his jaw tight as he looks up at the ceiling. “What if I get there and I’m not good enough?”
My eyes widen. Theo’s always been the clown, that friend who jokes around and seems so in control and cool all the time. Not once in the twenty-two years that I’ve known him have I ever seen him vulnerable like this.
“What are you talking about?”
He lets out a heavy sigh. “What if I fuck up? Let’s be honest, when have you ever known me to take anything seriously? The field I want to work in is for serious individuals. I won’t fit in. I’ll look like an idiot.”
“What do you want to do?”
