“Can I ask you something?” she says hesitantly.
“You can,” I say, shooting her a playful grin. “I can’t promise I’ll answer it.”
She rolls her eyes. “Is something going on between you and Zac?”
“No,” I scoff, but my pulse quickens. “What makes you ask that?”
“I think he likes you,” she says carefully. “He’s bi, isn’t he?”
I shrug. “It doesn’t matter what he is. There’s nothing going on between us. Besides, the guy can barely stand me.”
Hannah nods, thankfully dropping it. She reaches for her phone, scrolling through some messages. “Can you give me a lift home? Livvy hooked up with Theo last night, and neither of them is in any state to drive.”
“Yeah, of course. Can I shower first?”
“Sure. I’m in no hurry.”
I roll out of bed and gather some fresh clothes before padding across the hall to the bathroom. Locking the door, I search the cupboards for the packet of razors I bought earlier in the week. My movements are methodical as I take one out, remove the blade, and press it into my skin, my head dropping back at the familiar bite of pain. The heavy weight of expectation that’s been squeezing my chest bleeds out of me.
I’m sick of feeling like there’s something wrong with me because I don’t fit into my father’s perfect mould.
All I want is to be enough.
The doorknob rattles, and I drop the blade. My heart races as someone pounds on the door.
“Yo, dude, how long are you gonna be in there?” Dane shouts through the door. “I’m busting for a piss.”
I clear my throat. “I’m about to shower. Use the one downstairs.”
He curses, but then his footsteps head towards the stairs, and I release a heavy breath.
After showering, I dress in sweatpants and a black t-shirt and head back to my room.
Hannah’s sitting in the middle of my bed, thumbing through one of the soccer biographies from the bedside table.
It’s so domesticated. Another pang of guilt stirs in my stomach as I drop onto the bed beside her, resting on my arm.
“I’m sorry that I dragged you into all of this.”
She lifts her gaze and smiles. “It’s not a hardship hanging out with you, Noah.”
“Yeah, but it was only supposed to be for my dad. Now everyone thinks we’re dating. I’m essentially cock-blocking you.”
She snorts a laugh. “You’re giving me an excuse to focus on my studies. I promise, if I meet anyone I’m interested in, I’ll let you know.” I rest my forehead against her knee, and she ruffles my hair. “One day you’re going to tell me what’s really going on with you, Noah Bentley. I’m a patient woman.”
“I have no doubt about it,” I say with a grin. If I open up to anyone about what’s actually going on with me, it’ll be her. Just not yet.
My stomach rumbles. “Come on. I’ll make you some breakfast before dropping you home.”
I enterthe library in a huff, barging through the doors. I’m supposed to be studying for an upcoming ethics assignment, but I can’t get the phone call with my father out of my head. It was the same old shit—him dictating my life after graduation—but this time, he brought Hannah into it. It seems he’s done a bit of research into my fake girlfriend and discovered her connection to the Minister for Resources. I’m now under strict instructions from Carl Bentley not to fuck up this relationship, or I’ll have him to answer to.
I stop short, my breath catching in my lungs when I spot a familiar blond sitting at a table by the window, laptop open, headphones on, open books spread around him. It’s been a week since I gave him a ride home, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.
Zac’s been absent from training the past two days due to illness, and I can’t help but drink in the sight of him as he chews on the lid of his highlighter. His face is paler than normal, but otherwise he looks fine. Better than fine. That’s the problem. I shouldn’t be noticing things like that. Not about him. Not here.
Instead of walking away like I should, my feet carry me towards him of their own volition. I hover behind him, guilt swirling in my stomach at how much I want to reach out and run my hands through his silky strands. I’m about to force myself to walk away when he looks up and startles.
“Jesus, Noah,” he chokes out, one hand clutching his chest while the other whips off his headphones. “You scared the shit out of me.”
