After what feels like forever, I finally turn the water off. With shaking hands, I wrap a towel around my waist beforestepping out carefully, trying not to slip on the wet tiles. Searching my toiletry bag for the bottle of antiseptic, I clean my wounds and place a Band-Aid on them.
My heart rate has returned to a somewhat normal cadence, but the memories still haunt me. I open the bathroom door slowly, stepping back into the dark motel room. A light snaps on, and I wince as my eyes adjust.
“What’s going on?” Zac pushes himself up, rubbing a hand over his face. His eyes dart to the clock on the bedside table, and groans. “It’s two-thirty. What are you doing up?”
“N-nothing,” I say through chattering teeth. “B-bad dream. G-go b-back to s-sleep.”
His eyes widen as he takes in my shivering body. “Christ, Noah. Were you under a cold shower the whole time?”
I ignore him, grabbing a pair of boxers and pulling them on under my towel.
“What the fuck?”
I turn my back on him, slipping into a pair of sweatpants and a long-sleeved T-shirt. But when I face him again, the concern in his grey eyes nearly sends me into another panic attack. “D-don’t look at me like th-that.”
“Like what?” he asks warily. “Like you’re an idiot who’s minutes away from collapsing from hypothermia?”
“I’m f-fine,” I lie. “It’s n-no different to a c-cold plunge.”
He narrows his eyes but doesn’t call me out on my bullshit. Instead, he says two words that damn near bring me to my knees. “Who’s Nathan?”
The oxygen evaporates from the room, and my chest constricts.
“W-what?” I choke out. My legs give out from under me, and I collapse onto my bed, dropping my head into my hands.
Zac doesn’t give up though. “Who’s Nathan? I heard you calling his name in your sleep earlier.”
Shit.
This isn’t happening.
I didn’t want anyone to know about the nightmares.
“You can talk to me.” Zac’s voice is softer now. “Who is he?”
“He was a friend.” The lie tastes like acid on my tongue.
“Was?” The pity in Zac’s tone twists my stomach, and I know I need to shut this down. He can think whatever he wants. I refuse to voice what happened in Perth out loud.
“Please drop it.”
I hold my breath, waiting to see if he’ll listen to me.
He releases a heavy sigh. “Sorry, man.”
“Thanks. Can you please not bring it up ever again?”
Zac hesitates, and I lift my head, hating the anguish in his eyes. Finally, he nods. “Sure. If that’s what you want.”
“It is.”
“Okay, but if you ever need anyone to talk to?—”
“I’m good.”
He nods again.
My body temperature is slowly rising, and I climb into the bed fully clothed, turning my back to Zac. I feel his heavy gaze on me, but then the light flicks off and we’re plunged into darkness.
