It’s a good thing I’m leaving Beckford. It’s not a small town, and it would kill me to bump into her on the street one day, even if she doesn’t know it’s me. I don’t know what she looks like without a mask, but I know I’d recognise her. There’s an aura around her so pure, yet so broken, I wouldn’t be able to miss it.
I hope I haven’t damaged her further with my actions tonight. As I drive home, I wish I hadn’t let Andy convince me it was a good idea. I wish I’d called it all off before I had the chance to hurt her. She didn’t deserve to be used. Even if that was never my intention, I’m sure that’s what she thinks. That’s why she left.
My concern for Leni has me so distracted that I don’t notice the light in my living room until I let myself into the house. Frowning, I head down the hallway knowing I didn’t leave any lights on when I left for the game earlier.
I pause in the entry when I spot my son sitting on thecouch drinking a beer—his fifth or sixth judging by the empties littering the coffee table—a Liverpool game on the big screen television.
“Dylan?”
He lifts his eyes to meet mine, his voice croaky when he acknowledges me. “Dad.”
I approach cautiously, the same way I would a wounded animal or a dangerous predator. Thing is, I’m not too sure which version of my son I’m dealing with right now.
“What’s going on? I thought you were catching the team bus.”
He takes a long pull of his beer before mumbling, “I didn’t really feel like sitting on a bus for three and a half hours with a coach and teammates who blame me for losing the game.”
I sigh. “I’m sure they don’t think that.”
“Whatever,” he says, taking another mouthful of beer. His red eyes wash over me. “Where’ve you been?”
Guilt assaults me again. I should’ve been here for him, even if I didn’t know he was going to show up. My son needed me, and I was at a sex club getting my dick wet with a woman who wasn’t his mother. Nausea swells in my stomach, because even as I think it, I know that’s not what I was doing. Being with Leni was more than that.
“I went out for a few drinks with Andy.” Not a complete lie.
Dylan just nods. He’s too busy feeling sorry for himself to really care where I was tonight.
“Are we going to talk about what happened out on the pitch?”
He shakes his head, his eyes locked on the screen.
“Dyl—”
“Dad,” he interrupts, his tone resigned. “Can I just have a beer with my old man and enjoy watching the game?”
I press my lips together. Whatever he’s trying to do isn’t healthy, but at the same time, it’s not very often I get the chance to just hang out with my son.
“Sure.”
He doesn’t bother with conversation as we watch Liverpool beat Tottenham three-one, and I can’t stop casting worried glances at him. Something is going on, but I don’t know how to get him to open up to me. I’ll just have to be here for him and hope he comes to me when he’s ready.
Chapter 16
Leni
@watch_me_watch_you: I don’t really know what to say, but I couldn’t let you walk out thinking what happened between us was only sex for me. It was so much more than that.
@watch_me_watch_you unsent a message
@watch_me_watch_you unsent a message
@watch_me_watch_you: You are a strong, beautiful woman who forced this damaged man to step out of his comfort zone. I don’t know where we go from here. It doesn’t feel right to just walk away, but it also doesn’t feel right continuing to use this app and the club to get ourselves off as masked strangers. So, we’re left at this impasse.
@watch_me_watch_you unsent a message
@watch_me_watch_you: For all I know, you don’t want anything more to do with me, and if that’s the case, I’m sorry. I honestly don’t know what I’m doing here, and I don’t know what I can offer you. My life is one big mess at the moment, but the one thing I don’t regret is meeting you. Demand the world, little devil, because you deserve it.
@watch_me_watch_you unsent a message
