I shake my head, barely fighting off the urge to roll my eyes. “I’m dealing with it in my own way. Where do you get off judging me for it, Mom? After dad passed you were—you know what? It’s way too late to be arguing about this. I’m exhausted.”
“Moni… please…” She stands up from the sofa and pads over to intercept me, her brows knitted and a frown deepening on her face.
As soon as I look her in the eye, a pang of guilt hits me.
It occurs to me in some ways I’ve been doing to Momwhat Jin’s done to me. Shutting down. Being avoidant and dismissive.
Jin and I weren’t the only ones who suffered a loss when I miscarried.
Mom lost a grandbaby—the same one she’d been praying for from the moment Jin and I got engaged.
She’s devastated too, yet she’s been by my side this entire time. She’s focused on supporting me and helping me through this difficult period in my life.
“I’m… sorry…” I mumble. “Mommy, I didn’t mean to be…”
“It’s okay, baby. I know. I get it.” She opens her arms and draws me into one of her comforting hugs. “But this whole thing you’re doing? This investigating the Black Shell guy and Jin’s family history? It’s dangerous territory. You’re falling down a rabbit hole you might not be able to climb out of.”
“Mom—”
“You could wind up hurt. Or worse.”
“I’m being careful. I’m not doing anything stupid.”
“It’s time, Moni,” she says, sighing. She draws back from our hug to grab both my hands and hold them tight. “Our lease is up soon. Maybe it really is time we think about going home. Back to Philly. Away from all this darkness.”
I can’t even bring myself to answer her. It’s not as if it hasn’t been a thought of mine. At least before I started digging into what happened in Jin’s past.
But what if Mom’s right? What if what I’ve been doing will only lead to trouble? What if it only makes things worse at a time where I should be focused on healing?
A few days pass without me having an answer to Mom’sproposal. I do decide to cut back on the time I’m dedicating to the Black Shell mystery even if I don’t stop completely.
I force myself not to dive in first thing in the morning and resist the urge to stay up at all hours of the night digging for more info.
Instead of spending my evening at the library looking at more archived newspapers, I accept Kelly’s invite to go for dinner. Though I’m still not like my old self, it’s nice to spend time with a friend and listen to her problems, however silly and funny they are.
I’m on my way home when the same prickle I’ve felt several times before raises the little hairs on the back of my neck.
It’s the distinct feeling that I’m being watched.
Quickening my pace, I scan the street the apartment building is on and tell myself it’s probably Jin again. He or Sang-cheol are probably keeping tabs on me despite my objections.
Still, the unease remains even as I enter the lobby and step onto the elevator. My heart thuds heavily in my chest and becomes the only sound I hear beside the elevator ding when I reach the ninth floor.
I rush out, pivoting on my heel and striding straight for my apartment at the end of the hall. It’s as I’m punching in the code and the lock clicks that they appear out of nowhere.
Five masked men emerge on either side of the hall as if out of thin air.
I scream before I can think what else to do, then scurry to head inside.
But they prove half a second quicker as they bum-rush me. They swarm toward me like an angry hive, causing the door to fling open and forcing their way into the apartment.
“MOM!” I scream at the top of my lungs. “CALL THE POLICE!”
One man has grabbed me by the arms while another tries to gather my feet. I kick hard at him, twisting and jerking in their hold.
Mom comes bustling down the hall that leads to the bedroom and bathroom, then gasps at the disturbing sight that greets her.
Me struggling against the five masked men who have invaded our apartment. She’s already in her robe and bonnet, obviously winding down for the night.
