And I'd killed my father.
Somehow, in my head, that made us even.
And now when I bared my body to strangers, the memories I lost myself in were memories of him. I didn't want to see anyone else.
With my back to the audience, I slipped out of the sequined bra I wore, leaving the G-string. As I turned back around, I scanned the crowd, as was my habit, searching for someone who would never be there.
My gaze caught on a figure in the shadows. Dark hair, dark eyes, black suit. My heart stuttered in my chest…
And then I forced myself to look away as I fought down the sudden rush of tears that hit me. Every night, I thought I saw him. Watching me intensely the way he always did. And every night my heart was crushed all over again when it wasn't him. But I had to keep my shit together. I couldn't ruin my makeup. Sad girls didn't make good tips. And I fucking needed those tips.
Forcing a smile, I dropped to my knees and crawled slowly toward the front of the stage—and the bald guy with the twenty-dollar bill.
When the song ended, I grabbed my top and my tips off the stage and let the next girl take over.
"Luna!" My manager's voice cut through the music. "You've got a private dance request in the back."
I nodded as I made my way down the side stairs and headed toward the velvet curtain that blocked off the area where we could do more than strip, if the money was right and only if we chose to.
My boss grabbed my arm as I passed. "This guy just gave me fifty thousand dollars for an hour of your time."
"What?" Surely, I didn't hear him right.
"Fifty-fucking-thousand, Luna."
Although I could hear the excitement in his voice and practically see the dollar signs in his eyes, there was an undercurrent to his tone that put me on guard. "What exactly are you expecting me to do for that money?"
"Whatever the fuck he wants, as long as you're okay with it. But listen,"—he leaned in close to me—"I'm gonna have Jack stand right outside. If you need him, you yell loud."
Jack was our largest and scariest bodyguard. Only half joking, I asked, "Who the hell do you have in there?"
"Just be careful with this one. I don't like the look in his eyes."
Great. Just what I needed. But I wasn't about to turn down fifty grand. I handed him my tip money to hold for me and moved past him.
"Yell loud!" he called after me.
I raised my hand to let him know I'd heard him and pushed aside the curtain, stepping into the dimly lit room. As my eyes adjusted to the soft lighting, I searched the room for my customer.
"Aren't you going to dance for me,bambolina?"
For a moment, I couldn't breathe.
It wasn't possible.
Was I finally losing my mind? I closed my eyes. If I was, I never wanted to be sane again.
"Don't do that, Luna. Don't shut me out."
My chest caved in, and my throat was thick with tears that overflowed and slid down my cheeks.
"Open your eyes."
"I don't want to," I whispered. I knew he couldn't hear me over the music, but it didn't matter, because I was going insane. He couldn't be here. He was dead. I fuckingsawhim die.
That dark spicy scent that reminded me of the forest at night filled my nose, and a mournful, keening cry rang in my ears. It took me a moment to realize it was coming from me.
"Open your beautiful fucking eyes. I want to see them."
