But then I took a breath and released it on a hard exhale, my breath misting in the damp night air as I walked closer, remembering why I was here. And that reason had nothing to do with Gino, and everything to do with the woman he’d had on his arm today.
Once again, the intensity of my anger took me by surprise and gave me pause. Besides, what was I going to do? Shoot Gino myself for being too cocky? He was Italian. Many of the old-schoolmafiosiwere the same. Of course, the majority of them were also dead now. However, if I killed him here, tonight, Luca would know it was me, and he would have to act accordingly as the boss ofLaCosa Nostra, the Italian mafia here in Austin. And if I was taken out of the picture, no one would be here to protect her.
I didn’t like that thought.
A sudden movement in the window directly in front of me caught my attention.
The large windowpane rattled as Luna slammed against it so hard I heard her cry out as she collided, her hands up as though she’d tried to stop herself from falling through. The light behind her was so bright it created a halo around her body and made her red dress appear black. Her head was turned, the side of her face pressed against the glass.
Staying within the shadows, I moved closer. Her eyes were squeezed closed. Her pretty mouth twisted in a grimace of pain.
Her silhouette changed as her dress was lifted and bunched around her waist. Her hips jerked back, and then she hit the glass again. Someone stood behind her, his hand slamming into the pane above her head.
Gino.
And he was tearing off her panties.
Gino’s hand left the glass, dropping to her head and tangling in her long, dark hair, jerking her head back. My muscles tensed, and a red haze colored my vision as the woman who hadn’t left my mind since I’d first seen her earlier that evening stumbled back awkwardly in her heels, arms flailing. With one hand gripping her hair and the other pressed between her shoulder blades, Gino led her over to the bed and bent her over the end with her ass in the air.
Stiff and still, she waited as Gino struggled one-handed with the opening to his brown slacks. I took a step forward. Then stopped. There was a roaring in my ears. Why didn’t she try to get up? Was this a game they played? Did she enjoy it rough?
Unsettled, I paced back and forth within the shadow of the oak tree, my fists clenched and my eyes never leaving the scene inside. Of course, he would fuck her. He’d won her, after all. As she said earlier, she belonged to him now. That’s how it was in our world. So why did seeing it with my own eyes affect me so much?
Gino palmed her bare ass, and I couldn’t help but sneak closer, wondering what her skin would feel like beneath my own hands. What she would taste like between her plump thighs. I couldn’t even imagine. I’d never been with a woman, or anyone, for that matter. The only intimacy I’d ever known was the feel of a leather strap tearing into my skin. Or the embrace of water as it filled every orifice until there was no more air. A more peaceful way to die, honestly, once you stopped fighting it. And one that I would prefer if I had the chance to choose.
But I’d never felt skin on skin. Not like this. Not since I was a child. The few times someone touched me when I wasn’t expecting it, the feeling was so alien and unpleasant I’d pull away immediately. On really bad days, I’d freeze in terror for a split second, my body caught in a fight or flight response before my mind caught up with what was happening.
So, yeah, uninitiated touching wasn’t something I accepted easily.
Watching Gino touch her so casually, though…I was both extremely uncomfortable and unequivocally jealous. I resumed pacing, strangely enthralled by the scene playing out before me. I didn’t even think to try to stop him. Instead, I wiped the sweat from my upper lip with the back of my hand and watched, fascinated, as I imagined it was me standing behind her. Me touching her. Living vicariously through another man as he did the things I wished with every cell of my being that I could do.
Or at least he tried.
By the time he finally got his dick free, Luna had apparently decided she wasn’t in the mood after all. Twisting around, she slid away, her dress ripping as Gino tried to pin her to the bed. She bolted, running toward the door in one shoe. With a roar of rage, he charged across the room, catching her as she reached for the doorknob and throwing her back toward the bed.
She stumbled and fell across it, partially out of my view, her desperate cry cut off with a gasp as Gino’s full weight landed on top of her. I now knew for certain that this was no game. I took a step forward. Stopped.
A cold sweat broke out across my skin. Closing my eyes, I tried to block out the scene unfolding in front of me. But it was impossible when I could hear Luna’s cries and Gino’s curses through the thin panes of glass.
I turned around and left the same way I’d come in. I’d seen and heard enough. There was nothing I could do for her right now. If I barged into the room, his guards within the house—if there were any—would be on me in seconds. And even if I was lucky enough not to get shot, Luca would find out I’d directly disobeyed his orders and come here.
No, I just needed to get home.
By the time I reached the car, pain was squeezing my rib cage and my throat was closing up. The SUV was unlocked, and as soon as I reached it I ripped open the driver’s side door and threw myself inside.
Breathe.
Just fucking breathe.
My foot on the brake, I tried to push the start button, but as the fragmented memories of my past washed over me, my hands shook so fucking much my finger kept jabbing the dash all around it instead. “Come on. Come on,” I murmured. Finally, I hit it and heard the engine turn over. I slammed my foot on the gas pedal and got the hell out of there as fast as I could. I couldn’t be found. Not now. I needed to get home before I was lost to the darkness.
About halfway back to Luca’s property, I realized the car was beeping at me and saw the seatbelt light flashing. Reaching over my shoulder, I pulled the belt across my body but had no luck securing it, so I just let it go.
I just needed to fucking get home.
Demons from the past preyed on my emotions, swooping down at me within the small space of the vehicle with bared fangs and sharp claws. Snapping at my mind.
I thought about pulling over and calling Enzo. He would come and get me. Make sure I got home and put me where I was safe. He never asked any questions. But he had a new wife. And we weren’t young kids anymore. I could get myself there. I just had. To. Keep. Going.
