“Not till later,” I lied. Logan knew I worked at the strip club. He just thought I was a server, not a dancer. I didn’t know how much longer I’d be able to hide the fact that I no longer worked there though, now that he was twenty-two and could waltz into the club whenever the hell he wanted to. Lucky for me, he usually had better things to do with his time. He had no idea what I did, or what I’d done in the past, to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. And that was okay. If he did, he’d feel guilty and probably quit school and start working some bullshit job so he could contribute more. But I hadn’t sacrificed so much…sofuckingmuch…just for him to mess up his life.
And, if I were honest, doing what I did didn’t really bother me. Not anymore. I’d lost any feelings of shame or disgust a long time ago. And it was a quick way to make money and give us some security. But I knew if Logan found out, he’d lose his shit.
We chatted some more about his classes and then he told me he had to go get his homework done. “Okay,” I told him. “I’ll call you soon.”
“Hey,” he said before I could hang up. “You wanna have lunch tomorrow? I’ve got a long break between classes because one of my teachers is gonna be out, and she just gave us an assignment to do on our own time.”
“Um…” I knew I couldn’t. Gino would never allow it. Especially not now when he was being so damn moody. “I can’t tomorrow. But…soon. Okay?”
He was quiet for a moment. “What’s going on, Luni?”
“Nothing.”
“You’re lying to me. And I don’t know why because you’re a shit liar.”
I had to smile, because I thought I was a pretty good liar. He just knew me too well. “Everything’s fine, hon. I promise.”
“Luni…”
“I promise,” I repeated.
He sighed loudly. Along with knowing when I was lying, he also knew when he was wasting his energy with me, just like I did with him. I wasn’t going to tell him anything, and he knew it. “Alright, well, if you can’t have lunch tomorrow, then at least call me,” he ordered. “It’ll help pass the time.”
“I’ll try.” It was the best I could give him.
“Alright. Love you.”
“Love you back.”
I hung up the phone and stared down at the screen for a long time. Then I burst into tears. Again. God, I was so sick and tired of feeling sorry for myself. But I couldn’t help it. Every damn bad decision I’d made over the last few weeks was coming back to haunt me like a fucking poltergeist. But mostly I cried because I missed my little brother. And because I needed to figure out a way to explain to him why I wasn’t living at home anymore before he went on break for the summer and came home to our apartment.
I cried for a long time. Until the ghosts of my past were exorcised, and there were no more tears left to shed. Through blurry eyes, I looked over at the window. I could leave. I could just sneak out that window and run away and never look back. I could call Logan back and have him meet me somewhere and we could just…run.
It was a nice thought, and for a few minutes, I lost myself in the daydream.
But I knew without a doubt Gino would hunt me down. Not because he cared about me, but because I was a possession. Just like this house, or that ugly Renaissance Jesus painting hanging in the living room above the fireplace. He owned me. And he’d be pissed if I cheated him out of his winnings. Hell, he even paid for Logan.
No, he wouldn’t let me go. If I ran and he let me get away with it, it would make him look like a laughingstock in front of his cronies. And the one thing Gino had in excess was pride. I had a feeling he’d been bullied too much in school or something, and now he spent his life proving to everyone that he wasn’t weak. It was why he had such a hard time bowing down to anyone, even the boss of the Italian mafia.
I wiped the last of my tears from my cheeks. I’d overheard the end of his lunch with Luca. That man wasn’t stupid, and Gino was a fool if he ever thought he would get one over on him. Plus, those two guards of his would never allow anyone to get anywhere near the boss. And they were some scary motherfuckers, even I could see that. Whatever Luca had done to earn their loyalty, it was unbreakable. As long as they were alive, Luca would be also.
My thoughts looped back around to Tristan. He hadn’t spoken to me today, but I vividly remembered his voice from the day I’d met him at the wedding. It was low, quiet, slightly husky, utterly terrifying, and had sent shivers down my spine. It took me a few seconds to realize why. And then I figured it out.
It was because, like his eyes, his voice completely lacked emotion. There wasn’t an ounce of warmth or coldness. No happiness. No sadness. No anger. No confusion. There was just…nothing.
How was I supposed to reach a man who felt nothing?
I frowned at my own impulsive thoughts. Where the hell had that come from? Maybe because he was the only other person I’d had any real contact with other than Gino’s chef. I sniffed and chewed on my thumbnail as I thought about our encounter at the wedding, staring at the wall with swollen eyes. As cold as he seemed, he hadn’t been entirely uninterested in me, if the way those black eyes had been glued to my face and body had been any indication. And, hehadspoken to me, at least. Which was more than I could say for any of the other guards who’d been tasked with watching me. But what the hell did I think? That I could somehow seduce this guy, and he’d come riding up on his white horse to save me?
I laughed out loud, and it was an ugly sound. No one was going to save me. I’d known that since I was a kid. This was a man’s world. And if I wanted to survive, I had to learn to play by their rules.
And whatever kind soul was bringing food for me, I would bet money it wasn’t one of these mafia guys. None of Gino’s associates gave a flying fuck about me or what he did to me. I was only a woman, after all. I wasn’t dangerous. I wasn’t a threat. And if I happened to get out of line, I had no doubt that any one of them would remove me from the situation without blinking. None of these guys were the knight in shining armor type.
Especially not a man with soulless eyes.
CHAPTER 9
Tristan
