He wasmine.
CHAPTER19
Serafina
We were at an impasse.
“I can’t lose you, Sera.”
I opened my eyes and looked up at him. Enzo was still above me, and still inside of me, his dark eyes burning into mine. I stared up into his hard, handsome face and felt my soul tear in two.
Leave?
Or Stay?
I could live without him. I could. I would survive. In these last few months before I’d met him, I’d proven to myself that I was able to survive without the help of anyone else. I’d found a job. I’d made a friend. And I’d survived. And I was happy. I was free.
Until the night I’d knocked on this man’s door and everything had changed.
“Stay with me.” He brushed his lips over mine, and my heart ached at the tenderness in that kiss, so unlike him.
“I can’t live my life always running,” I told him. “And you can’t tell me our life together will be all white picket fences and children and dogs running in the yard. It would be a life on the run. You can’t just up and leave the mafia, Enzo.”
He rolled off of me, but stayed close, propping his head up on his elbow so he could see my face. “You’re right. Between your new reputation and mine, we would always be looking over our shoulder if we were together.”
It’s the same thing I’d been thinking, but to hear him say it out loud…I choked down the sob in my throat.
“I have an offer for you,” he said.
I didn’t trust myself to speak yet, so I watched his expression, waiting for him to say more.
“Let’s go back to our original deal we agreed on.”
“The deal that we’ve both reneged on?”
One corner of his mouth turned up. “Yes. That one.” All amusement left his face. “I swear I’ll uphold my end. We’ll draw up a contract. Put it in writing with witnesses. All I ask is that you stay with me, without constantly thinking of ways you can escape, for one month. If, after that one month, you still want to go, I’ll give you everything I promised for you to start your life over. That will also give us enough time for all this shit around Luigi’s death to settle down. Once the capos see you’re not a threat, they’ll move on to other things to worry about.” He brushed a few strands of hair from my face. “But I’m hoping that after that one month, you’ll see it won’t be so bad for you if you stayed.”
I wanted to believe him.
“Give me a chance, Sera. That’s all I’m asking for. I just want a fucking chance.”
“I find it hard to believe you’ll just let me go if that’s what I choose.”
“And you’d be correct, but that gives me a month to figure out a way for us to have a life together without my family hunting us down.”
I smiled, but it quickly faded away. “You told me once that you made a vow to Luca never to leave him. You’ve spent most of your life protecting him. How will you just be able to leave?” It was a nice fantasy. But I knew mafia men, and I knew this man in particular. I could see how deep his loyalty ran to the two men he considered closer than family.
His dark eyes, so full of pain and promises, traveled over my face. “Losing either of them would tear me up inside. But I would eventually heal enough to keep going if I had you. Losing you,” He paused, as though he was having trouble just saying the words. “Losing you would destroy me completely. I’d never recover from such a loss. And I wouldn’t want to. I can’t lose another part of me, Sera…I can’t.”
He was talking about his wife and son.
“And that’s why I can’t just let you walk away from me without knowing where you are and if you’re okay. If you’re happy. If you’re safe. Please, don’t ask me to do that.”
It wasn’t a confession of love, but it was as close as I was going to get.
For now.
“Okay,” I told him. “I’ll stay. For one month.”
