And for the first time in my life, I’d done it all on my own, without any help from anyone.
I’d spent too many years being dependent on someone else, and for weeks after my divorce, I’d felt like I was standing on the edge of a cliff with my arms flailing wildly in the air, desperately trying not to fall into the dark abyss below even as my toes slid forward and rocks broke loose, the echo of them smashing against the side on their way down going on forever.
But now my feet were firmly planted on the earth, a safe thirty feet or more from that scary ledge. The strength it took to steady myself and back away had been there all along. I’d just been too wrapped up in my husband and kids to know I had it in me.
And now, after the hardest two years of my life, I’m in a place that’s all about me. It sounds selfish, but I didn’t care. And I was happy here.
He rapped lightly on the door to the back room where I kept my equipment and backdrops. It was where all of the magic happened. And where I was currently still hiding.
“Knock. Knock.”
Chills chased each other up and down my arms at the sound of that deep, easygoing voice. Pasting a welcoming—but professional—smile on my face, I set the lenses I was cleaning down on the table and turned to greet him.
“Hey, Tyler!” Too high! Too squeaky! Clearing my throat, I lowered my voice and asked, “How are you?” Sweet Jesus. He was even better looking now than he was the last time I’d seen him.
The Mediterranean god grinned. Not the sexy, knowing grin I’d seen him use in front of the camera, but an open and honest one. It lit up his features and completely took my breath away for a second. “Hey, Ailee.”
My non-existent ovaries went into overdrive just hearing the way he pronounced my name.
“I’m good,” he continued. “Just got done with my summer classes.”
Oh, my God. I was lusting after a student. “Classes?” I repeated with that stupid smile pasted on my face. I tried to stop, I really did, but it was frozen there. Frozen. Like clown paint.
“Yeah, I’m going back to school and I needed to take some fillers.” Crossing his arms over his muscular chest, he leaned against the doorframe. “It’s been a while since I’ve done this sort of thing, but you know, I’m finding I appreciate it a lot more now than I did right out of high school.”
Back to school. But how long had he been out? I tried to keep my eyes off his strong shoulders and biceps, displayed to my advantage by his pose and the white tank he was wearing. I failed miserably, so instead, I tried to make it look like I was only interested in what those arms were going to look like in front of my lens. “What are you taking?” Better. That sounded perfectly casual. Like I was only asking to make conversation.
“I’m starting law school.”
His answer distracted me from his perfect arms. “Law school?”
“Yeah. I want to fight for people in the workplace with disabilities. Specifically, mental illnesses.”
I didn’t think it was possible to lust after this man more than I already did. I was completely and utterly wrong. “Wow. That’s ambitious.”
“It’s something that’s been on my mind for a long time. Of course, I may have to stop doing this.” He looked past me to the area of the studio where I took photos. “I don’t know that the courts would take me seriously after seeing me on the cover of a romance novel.”
“That’s too bad.”
“Yeah, it really would be.”
Something about his tone and the way he was looking at me gave me pause… But no, it was only my imagination. Wishful thinking. I gave myself an internal pinch. “Romance covers won’t be nearly as attractive without you on them.” As soon as I’d said it, I willed myself to disappear into one of the photos on the wall. “Uh, I mean…”
Luckily, he broke into my stuttering excuse for something cool to say. “It’ll be too bad because I won’t get to come here and see the way you look at me through that camera you love to hide behind so much.” He opened his mouth like he was going to say more, but then he hesitated, his eyes uncertain for a moment before his features firmed into an expression of confidence. “I’d like to see you look at me like that without it.”
Heat crept up my neck as he stared at me, and there was no mistaking his meaning this time as his eyes travelled slowly down my body. My pulse sped up so fast I got a little lightheaded and had to reach back and grip the edge of my desk to steady myself. The seam of my jean shorts between my legs was suddenly very noticeable, as was the soft lace of my bra scraping against my nipples when I took a steadying breath.
His nostrils flared, as though he could scent the change in my body chemistry on some primitive level. Dropping his arms to his sides, he took a step toward me. “Maybe we can still set up some private appointments. I could be available if you ever wanted to try any new techniques on me.”
My eyebrows went up and my eyes glanced down at the bulge in his jeans, noticeably larger than it was when he’d first come in. My tongue shot out to wet my suddenly dry lips. There was really no mistaking what kind of techniques he was talking about.
The front door swung open behind him, and Stef came walking in with a young girl with big boobs, boyish hips, and long, straight, black hair. A girl Tyler’s age. A girl with the freshness of youth all over her flawless face.
My pulse crashed back down to normal.
“Hey! What’s going on, you guys?” Stef called out from the reception area as she set her stuff down.
I told myself not to panic. She always greeted me this way. But I couldn’t stop the heat I knew was coloring my cheeks. I fanned myself with my hand and hoped she’d assume it was menopausal hormones.
