“My apologies. It is the only thing we have not done, so I figured…”
He’d figured wrong. “I want more than sex.”
“Wish granted. Soon you will be the most powerful woman in the world. All of humankind’s fate will be in your hands.”
“See, that right there is just terrifying. So thanks for that. What I meant is that I want a man, Stark. A real man. Not just somesex god in the bedroom who tells me what I want to hear. I want him to have the kind of strength that comes with a fearless dedication to being truthful, to earning my trust and keeping it.” Also, it wouldn’t hurt if he could cook.
“So you are saying you do not wish me to put my mouth on you.” He climbed on to the bed and came towards me. “You are saying you do not want my stiff cock inside you, pumping, pounding, pushing until you scream with exquisite pleasure.”
I swallowed hard, that urge to give in growing stronger. I did want it. I wanted him so badly. But that was my body speaking. My heart and mind, however, were miles away. “Two seconds ago, you said you were going to kill me. You said that it was the only way, and now you want to have sex while you do it? Don’t you see how messed up that is?”
“I must turn you, Masie. Why not make it as pleasurable as possible?”
I would never get through to him, would I? So why did I keep trying? It was a ridiculous cycle, and I owned it.Time to un-own it.
“Because,” I placed a hand on his rough cheek, “it’s not what I want, and the man I’m destined to love would never push me to give up being human. Not without trying to find another solution.”
His gaze softened, and he moved away, sitting on the edge of the bed.
I sat next to him and placed a hand on his back. “I can’t tell you how much I’ve prayed, in my heart,in my soul, for you to be that man. But you’re just not him.”
Stark went silent for a long moment, and it unnerved me. More than knowing he planned to bite me, drink my blood until my heart nearly stopped, and make me consume his blood.
“Say something,” I pushed. “Tell me there’s another way to stop what’s happening.” I took a deep breath. “Please, I’m asking for your help.”
His anger came on faster than a high-speed train. “You think I want to turn you?” he growled. “Despite what you think of me, I abhor death.” He pointed to the tattoo on his arm. “Each symbol is a life, and I dread having to add another mark for you.”
All this time, I’d wondered what the symbols on the vines meant, but I’d never imagined they were a sort of silent penance.
“Why do you do it?” I asked.
“I was sold to a vampire as a young boy. Among my many daytime duties, my job was to lure innocent people to my master and then dispose of the bodies. I told myself that whatever I had to do to stay alive, to prevent him from murdering my mother and sister for disobeying him, I would do. However, the first opportunity I got, I would leave. Then I had that chance, Masie. My master was murdered by his maker one dark night, and for a few short moments, I was free. I had my life back.” Stark drew a long, sorrow-filled breath. “Until his master turned me. Right then and there. Simply because he thought it would be entertaining.”
I covered my mouth with a gasp. “That’s awful. I’m so sorry.”
“He was sorry, as well. After I tore off his head.”
I winced. “Graphic, but I get it.”
“Agreed. And after that, I had to accept what I was or die. So I began the task of surviving. Day by day. Night by night. I vowed I would never become like those vampires. Monsters. Animals. Nor would I be ruled by such vile, sadistic individuals again. I would be in control of my life, and I would not kill without reason. It was why I attempted to prepare you on the island so that you would follow the same way of life.”
“Oh.” That explained a lot about Stark—why he fought tooth and nail to stay on top. He’d learned the hard way what happened if a vampire controlled your life. The funny part was how well Stark hid all this from everyone. The way the man spoke and acted, you’d think he’d murdered hundreds of thousands of people.
Still, that’s a lot of ink on his arms.“So I’m guessing that the ‘no killing’ vow hasn’t gone so well.”
“It is a process.”
It was more of a choice, but okay.
He continued, “I am merely emphasizing that while I put up a strong front, I truly do not wish to take your life and turn you, Masie.”
“Then don’t,” I said. “I mean, I’ll do whatever Ihave to; I’ve decided that much. But if there’s a chance of…you know, keeping me human, I’d like that.”
He nodded slowly as if mulling.
“Well?”
He remained silent.
