“Let me go to her,” I murmur, but his arms tighten.
“I will. I just need to hold you a bit longer first.”
I itch to go help, but Kade needs me too.
“I’m so sorry that happened.” He tips my face up, his eyes full of sympathy, mixed with anger and control.
“Not your fault.”
“I’m never letting you pay our bill again.” He laughs quietly; it’s forced, but he’s trying hard. He wipes his thumb over my cheek. “Does it hurt?”
“I can’t feel anything.”
“That makes sense.” He threads our fingers together, and I know it’s for both our comfort. I’m shaking in my stress, and his arms tighten to hold on to his control. I suspect if I made one wrong move or sound, I’d be bundled up and raced to the hospital.
In the distance, sirens echo, but it doesn’t mean they’re coming here. Though the neighborhood isn’t the roughest, it’s not the safest either. We both watch for a few moments before the flashing blue-and-red lights of a patrol car appear.
“You tell them what happened,” I say.
“Wait here.” He kisses my forehead before stepping around me.
While Kade goes to meet the police with the owners of the restaurant, I triple-check everyone is okay. It turns out one of the couples are doctors from out of town, and they have everything under control. The only injury is the cut on my face, but it’s not bad enough for a visit to the hospital.
Another patrol car pulls up out front, and something about the scene makes me anxious. I wait next to the door, ready to go stand near Kade and give my statement but wait. Not only is Kade talking with the officers, but he’s also shaking hands with the latest arrivals.
I lean against the wall and watch.
There’s familiarity between them.
They know Kade, and Kade knows them. The longer I watch, the more obvious it becomes. Kade’s whole demeanor matches theirs.
I’m about to vomit, or faint, but I force myself to stay and see what I have been blind to. My friends-with-benefits-Beta-scent-match lover transforms from bullshit accountant to an officer of the law.
I never had a reason to doubt what Kade previously said, but now I’m scrambling over old conversations to see if he ever slipped up. And I get people make conscious decisions about what they’re willing to share with others. Even when you’re close to someone, it doesn’t necessarily mean they get the “real” you, but Kade’s deceit hits hard.
There might not be any malicious intention as to why he lied about his career, but it’s a dangerous, and intentional, move on his part. For all I know, he could be one of Victor’s people. I’m mostly sure he’s not, but I once thought my father would protect me forever too.
There’s no coming back from this. There’d be no explanation from Kade that could reverse the damage to our relationship. Not just because of the lie, either. I live with lies myself. But an officer of the law? Yeah, no thank you.
My regrets come in thick and fast. The main ones being, I wish I had held him longer and taken another draw of his scent.
With a heavy heart, I turn away from him and make my way through the restaurant to the back door. One of the kitchen hands is standing outside, the skunky smoke of his blunt hanging like a cloud.
Perhaps it’s the trauma we shared inside, but I lean against the same wall the kitchenhand does. It’s one of those weird times you don’t need words. He offers me a smoke, and I keep taking hits until my lungs catch fire and my stress fogs. When the buzz outweighs the trauma, I hand him back his joint.
Digging out my phone, I consider calling Kade, but I can’t, for about a million reasons. A text will be just as effective and more emotionally efficient.
You are seriously the best FWB a girl could ask for. Tonight was the shakeup I needed… a reminder that life is short, and I’m holding you back. I can’t give you anything more, no matter how much I wish it was different. Always, Q
The guy next to me is busy on his phone, and he offers the blunt again without looking my way, but I don’t take it.
“Night,” I offer, walking away from him. And my life with Kade.
The first couple of blocks, I do an amazing job of denying the truth about the whole day. The Alpha bite is a real fucking concern, but when I put that next to finding out about Kade—and leaving him—it fades into obscurity. I sob my heart out as Kade consumes me.
But I need to feel the suffering and let our time scar me deeply, so I don’t ever forget. It's a necessary pain, a long time coming. I put metaphorical distance between us as long as the miles I walk on my way home. The deep sadness that settles in my bones needs no exaggeration; he was, after all, so much more than a hookup.
I hate Victor more and more every day for how he ruined my life. I hate fate for delivering someone as special as Kade is into my world, when I could never have him properly. I hate that my trust is so fractured, I don’t know what is up or down anymore.
