“You can whisk me away when I’m back.”
He chuckles under his breath, but before he can explain the reason behind his dirty laugh, a knock on the door interrupts. Before he can apologise, I cut in. “I’ll be on the bus for the next few hours. How about I message you when I arrive? And hopefully we can talk longer tomorrow before the program starts.”
From the hallway comes the telltale echo of approaching steps. “Hendrix, sorry, someone is coming. Talk soon.”
I barely manage to tuck my phone beneath my uniform and swing open the dishwasher, pretending to stack the next mountain of dishes just as Omega Mother Gail appears. Out of all the staff at Unity, she’s the least tolerant of students having their phones during school. While some teachers are more forgiving, Omega Mother Gail is a tyrant.
“I was wondering where you were.” Her tone is as sharp as the hard press of her lips. But that’s just Omega Mother Gail—abrupt as always.
“Is there a problem?” I ask, lowering my eyes respectfully as I turn to face her.
She’s already turned away, inspecting the area the girls and I have cleaned. It’s not our first time on cleanup duty, and if I do say so myself, we’ve got pretty good at it.
“This will need to be finished before you leave. To my standards, Omega Simona.”
“Yes, of course, Omega Mother. We should be all donewithin the hour. Perhaps I could come get you once we are finished, to check it is to your standard.”
She nods once before taking a final long, hard look at the mess I have still to do. Her heels clack so hard against the floor on her way out that when I turn to watch her leave, I expect to see her marching down the hall.
And then I get busy because I’ve still got to pack.
“What did you think of today’s session?” Alpha Selene asks, her voice and mannerisms overly direct. But she’s also really considerate, and surprisingly sweet.
“Honestly, I’m kind of blown away and in awe right now. Perhaps once I’ve had time to work through everything, I might be able to properly convey my thoughts.”
She laughs, leaning in, trying to comfort me.
I haven’t mixed with many female Alphas, and that’s entirely attributed to my upbringing. Along with everything the founding families find offensive, in their mind, female Alphas are an abomination and an embarrassment.
Walking into the auditorium for the workshop, I almost apologised and turned to leave—until I read the slide behind the lectern.Selene. The technical expert who spoke at the trade shows. I expected the speaker to be a male. But when she started speaking, I was mesmerised. Her passion for computer science and maths was undeniable, and she delivered her presentation with effortless confidence. Articulate and self-assured, she had a remarkable gift for breaking down complex equations, explaining them in a way that made sense to everyone in the room.
“You have my contact details, and I want you to reach out, Simona. I’m serious, if I can help at all, I want you to know you can reach out to me.” Selene takes a small stepback, adding some space between us, and I realise she’s doing it to make sure I feel okay around her.
“I appreciate that,” I say, making a real effort to look at her while I speak.
Her Alpine pine scent reminds me of winter. It’s cozy. And her presence matches her height, but with the way she holds herself, and the way she acts, I’m not intimidated around her.
“Were you going to dinner with the rest of the group?” The smile on her lips suggests she knows I won’t be. Instead of trying to talk me into socialising, she stops in front of me and looks deep into my eyes. “I don’t say this often, Simona, but when I look at you, all I can see are the embers of success in your eyes. Believe in your own capabilities but more importantly, don’t let anyone hold you back. I suspect you’re one of those people who could conquer anything you put your mind to.”
I hold my hand out for a handshake, but it dissolves into a hug, which feels more right anyway. “Thank you, Selene. You’ve done more for me than you know.”
“And you’ve reminded me why I enjoy mentoring. Please, don’t forget my number.” A final hug and Selene walks across the room to meet the man walking towards her.
I bypass dinner with the rest of the attendees—my time being around so many people is done for the day. I text Hendrix to let him know I’ll be calling as soon as I’ve had a shower, but before I can pick my phone up to call him, I get a message to go downstairs to collect a package from reception.
In the time it took for me to have a shower, Hendrix arranged for a bag of takeout from a local restaurant to be delivered to the college.
The smile on my face lingers as I eat dinner with him while we video chat, though he ends the call as soon as he sees me yawn, promising we’ll talk in the morning. Curlingbeneath the blankets, I nibble another cookie while sending a quick message to Dad, hoping his retreat is going well. Then, I check to see if Rye is online. Disappointment flickers when I realize I’ve missed him, but the photo he’s sent—an empty hotel room window covered in sad-face emojis—makes it clear he feels the same. Still, the messages and photos we continue to exchange are infused with the same connection we had from the very start.
For now, the connection we share online is enough—but I know we’re both craving more. As exciting as the idea of meeting Rye in the flesh sounds, every time I consider taking that step, fear swamps me. I’m notSinDaBella. Not really. I like to pretend I’m fiercely independent and in charge of my sexuality, but the truth is far from that. I can’t imagine meeting Rye without him seeing through the façade—without bitter disappointment that I’m not the woman he’s come to know, and worse, that I’ve been lying the entire time we’ve been talking. I feel awful, but no matter how wrong it feels, I can’t stop wanting more.
I should have packed my favourite mystery-scented blanket. It might have helped stop the constant buzz in my thoughts. Being in a new room is not what makes me toss and turn, it’s the spiralling disappointment I feel in myself. I know I said I was going to let myself be selfish and enjoy whatever I wanted during the years I had away from Brody, but I’m using other people to do it and that makes me an asshole.
Morning finally comes after endless tossing and turning and no resolution on how to move forward. Instead of joining everyone for breakfast, I take advantage of one of Rejoice’s isolation pods. This Omega college is completely different than Unity. Both are beautiful and offer their students everything an Omega could want, but Rejoice has dozens of small isolation pods dotted throughout the buildings and thegardens. Perhaps that’s because Rejoice is more focused towards Omegas who are artistic and creative or it might simply be the difference of old architecture and new, but I feel at peace inside them. I spend the entire morning there.
The burden of misleading Rye, and essentially forcing Hendrix into a secret affair, is nothing but a confirmation of my messy hopes and dreams. My current headspace leaves me with more questions than answers but there’s a growing realization that no matter what I do with my time at Unity, it’s not going to fix anything long term. The time I spend at Unity probably should be time I put into learning as opposed to chasing someone else. No matter how alive Rye and Hendrix make me feel, and how desperately I wish we had met in a different lifetime, I think I need to end things with them. It is a bitter pill to swallow knowing I need to let our connections go, but given how they make me lose sight of life beyond this place, it’s the right choice.
In the distance the tinkling of bells, Rejoice’s audio signifying the morning session is about to start, seems like a confirmation from the universe that I’m on the right path.
