HENDRIX
There are days like today I loathe being packed to two career driven, overly passionate Alphas. And that is not based on who we are to each other, it’s more to do with how taxing and draining it is having a long-distance relationship. Not that I can bitch and whinge too loudly, I’m the one that pushed them into chasing their dreams. I can however admit, and I do often, that I struggle when we’re apart. And lately that feeling is intensifying.
Without question they are instrumental in my success both in life and as a person, just like I am to them. They’re the reason I show up every day, and the reason I push myself to finish each day to the best of my ability. I’m Alpha enough to tell them they inspire me to be better—and the reason I want to be, more often than not. But when we are apart, fuck it is hard.
Stolen moments like this help, when we find a couple of minutes to spare and immediatelylink up, but I need more. It’s the strong Alpha in me. I have this ornery, almost petulant like drive to have them right next to me so they never have toquestion where they stand in my life. They come before anything, and everything.
There are clear contradictions in how I think and how we live, but what kind of Alpha would I be if I focused on my needs and locked Ryder away in a recording studio simply because he was mine.
Emotionally, I know distance is never going to change how strong our connection is but some days the urges inside make it hard to remember. I also am aware my ability to sense the strength in our bond gets more clouded the closer I get to them both returning home. Impatience and need makes it difficult for me to do anything except pace in the last few hours.
I can’t put a number on how many times I’ve been driven by this burning necessity to see either of them has resulted in me flying out to see Ryder on stage or going to Dominic just to sit in his office while he works. When I am near enough to scent, or to feel them under my hand, the roar of darkness fades like the setting sun at the end of the day.
Unlike other packs who have problems on top of problems, we only have a couple to deal with—my feral-like drive, and us still not finding the true heart of our pack, our Omega. The three of us are as solid as I ever hoped we would be. We share everything—our lives and our beds—but we’re all aware of what is missing—the light to our dark, the soft to our hard, the vessel for us to each pour ourselves into. An Omega.
“You look stressed, Hendrix, what’s going on?” Ryder pushes.
I swear, Ryder has this uncanny ability to see past my masks. Dom does it too, but Ryder calls me out on it all the time. His language of love is often so direct it’s like a punch to my chest.
He looks at me and I swear air leaves my lungs. He asks for something, and I want to stop the world to give it to him.
Dominic and I share the same wild drive. Or maybe it’s worse and we’ve just had more time to get used to it. But there are times the only thing I need to feel is the push of his chest against mine, so our heartbeats fall back into our shared rhythm. Fuck, sometimes knowing his heart beats with mine, and Ryder’s, is the only thing that gets me through these long days.
“I’m tired,” I growl.
Ryder’s eyes flash with worry. “Hen, when is the last time you slept properly?”
“When did we both leave him? I think it was fourteen days ago,” Dominic adds quietly. I know he’s teasing me; I can hear it in his voice.
“Eighteen days,” I growl, swiping a hand down my face.
“I have two concerts left. Dom only has three days left before he’s flying home across the Atlantic. Then we’re all together and will be locking the door. So stop being dramatic, shut your eyes, and you’ll feel us both in our bond.”
“I need more than that, Rye,” I snarl.
“And you’ll get more in a few days.” Dominic snaps. “Innamorato, what gives?”
“I haven’t heard a thing from her,” I hiss.
Of course, as soon as I left Unity after running into the most scent compatible Omega I’ve ever met, I called them. Jesus, it would have been impossible not to tell them, she had that much of an impact. Or I truly thought she had. Maybe I am tired, misinterpreting things.
“It doesn’t mean anything. You know how complicated life can be sometimes. If she is right for us, everything will happen as it needs to, not how you would like.”
Ryder starts laughing. “Dominic, you’re sounding moreand more like Hendrix with each passing day. Someone save me.”
Dominic rolls his eyes at Ryder’s suggestion that he needs saving. “Hendrix is a good man, and a better Alpha. When he’s not tired, and emotional, his insight is dangerously accurate. So, if I’m acting more like him these days, I’m taking it as a win. But the same can be said with us, wouldn’t you agree, Ryder? It’s easy to see our Alpha has more to tell us.”
I grit my teeth. Honestly, Simona not reaching out is consuming, but on top of that, the Omega Dominic found and then let go, is getting harder and harder to find. And I hate that he has to suffer the same angst I am. I also don’t want to disappoint him, but I know telling him is going to do just that.
“You got another cease and desist.”
He looks at me for half a second, and I see the flare of anger and frustration in his eyes. “Jesus. Are they fucking stupid? Do they not know who I am and who I represent?”
“The lawyers for the car service people are more than aware of who you are, Dominic. I’d say it’s part of the problem. How do they know you’re not going to snatch the unbonded Omega up for one of your overseas clients,” I offer back, trying not to add fuel to the fire.
“It is a valid argument, Dom,” Ryder adds, going back to applying his stage makeup to cover his tattoos. Arguing with a man paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to argue isn’t something for the faint hearted, not that Rye cares.
“I couldn’t hurt her if I tried!”
