Part 1
Chapter
One
SIMONA
Ifound this quote once about how redemption is a dark, treacherous path walked by the accused. It went on about how if we don’t hope, then there is no way to emerge from the other side a better person. I feel most of that works, except for the use of the word ‘accused’. It suggests a crime or wrongdoing has to be committed before a person can redeem themselves. But good people have a path to follow in the search for their own redemption.
Sometimes what they have to face is more treacherous and dangerous.
Given how quickly people judge, I think a lot of good people are written off without even getting a chance to explain. You think you understand someone’s motivation, but unless they’ve shared their story from beginning to end, you know nothing.
The adage “You haven’t walked a mile in my shoes” rings especially true in my situation. We all find our own way to cope, yet, like with our own unique stories, people never hesitate to offer unsolicited advice about how to “fix”a bad situation—without realising you’re already doing what you need to do. For me, coping meant adapting totheirexpectations, becoming everythingtheywanted. Conforming didn’t mean he/they won. It meant I carved out a space where I could survive. I know many will be horrified by the concept of staying, but sometimes leaving simply isn’t an option
In my heart I know what happened wasn’t my fault, but even those with the purest intentions can crumble when evil continuously whispers in your ear.
The day started badly; it ended worse.
Stars exploded in bright light, dancing in my vision. Not the stars in the night sky, those never hurt.
My mother’s outburst was finished before it started. But the damage was done. Irrevocably so.
When she realised she’d hit me, she gasped in shock. Her lip trembled. Her apology was clear in her scent, but instead of actually apologising, she only whispered my name.
“Simona.”
She actually waited, to see if I would jump in and apologize first. If I would accept part of the responsibility of her action. But I didn’t.
Wren’s hand shook as her finger traced the mark of her hand against my cheek. Her voice dropped octaves; it was laced with secrets and an appropriate level of sympathy as she spoke.
“This is the life we have been born into. We knew confirmation of your Alpha would arrive, so this act of surprise is unnecessary.”
My gaze dropped, following the stars still spotting my vision as they fell into non-existence. So symbolic really. Not for the first time, I wondered if the same would happen to me—if I would simply cease to exist.
It was an awful thought, but maybe… not entirely.
Her breath blew against my cheek as she whispered in my ear. “We all have been in your shoes, sweetheart.”
“Not quite, Mother.”
She scoffed. “That’s not true. They placed your father and me together, and we fell in love.”
My hair fell forward as I disagreed. Strands of it hid the tears that fell, but it also provided a shelter, a place I could hide the deep sadness that filled my heart.
“Our future was paved long ago, and now we are all enjoying the fruits of our sacrifices. Everything you could want is in front of you, all you need to do is accept.”
Each word she spoke felt like a weight, taking me further away from her.
“You are not the first to think her future isn’t her own. I’ve been there, so has Brody’s mother. Every person you meet has looked at the path in front of them with trepidation, but I promise after a while each step gets easier. One day you’ll wake up and wonder what all this fuss is about.”
Fuss? Fuss is throwing a tantrum about wanting another slice of cake and being denied. Fuss does not come anywhere near being told I am to be tied to Brody Henderson until the end of time.
“You will live a rich life, Simona, and you will find happiness. We have all had to sacrifice parts of ourselves but that’s what being in a pack is about. Everyone has to make allowances, to alter what they thought they wanted as they deal with how life will be. You will want for nothing, but you will receive everything you could ever hope for.”
Before I can stop myself, I answer her. “Just not love. Or happiness. Or even kindness.”
“Make it easy on yourself, Simona, and accept we all find those things when we look hard enough. Just like our family, and each of the founding families, we all get to enjoy our successes together, in beautiful homes, full of…”
