Much like Maverick, King doesn’t push for an instant response, but I give it to him anyway. “I don’t know what the fudge is going on actually. Give me a second, at least, until I remember how to breathe again.”
I feel like I’m shaking, and I have to double check my hands to make sure they’re not. Taking a drink of water to try to settle my anxiety, I focus on things I can control: putting on my sunglasses, reversing the car and driving away. King’s voice keeps me company, he talks to someone else while I pull myself together.
King waits for me to come back to him. I think he always will too, which adds to the sense I’m drowning. Having two scent matched Alphas is too much, but not enough at the same time.I’d be devastated, torn in half, if I did anything to ruin what I have with King.
Thinking of him, I miss him so much I ache all over. I’d give anything to be able to curl up in my stash of King’s stolen hoodies which weirdly is what I use as motivation to get home as fast as possible. I focus on listening to King talking to other people. The traffic is light, meaning I don’t have to concentrate too hard which is a good thing, I’d be a ball of emotion if anyone beeped me.
At some point King stops talking. Doors open and close and then King’s silence is more pronounced. Bottles clink, a door slides open, then I hear him sinking into a chair and my stomach bottoms out as he takes a quick breath before he talks.
“Tristan, I always knew you’d find your pack. I don’t want you to feel like shit because you met an Alpha that smelt good.”
“How can you say that?” I bite back before he even finishes speaking. My hackles are up high as I get ready to fight.
He makes a noise that sounds like a chuckle before he takes a sip of a drink. “Settle down, killer. I fucking knew this day would come, okay?”
King’s not pissed off at all. And probably because he’s coming across almost clinical, I explode in a fiery ball like any half normal person would. “So, you’re saying we’re over? Our time together has meant nothing to you?”
“Right,” he answers and it’s cold and distant.
“And what the hell was that with Nolan?”
“You shouldn’t be fucking surprised. I told you he’d pay. Each and every time he tries to set himself back up, he’ll fucking pay again. End of story.”
The light changes and I drive like an asshole to match my sudden mood swing.
King chuckles again and it’s weirdly comforting because in it I know he’s not laughing at me per se, more he’s laughing withme, although I’m not laughing. Once he stops chuckling away, he breaks my fucking heart. “This thing between me and you is never going to be over. Listen carefully, killer, if ten fucking Alphas showed up and claimed you’re theirs, I would tell you to pack, but you bet your sweet fucking ass I will be there too.”
My foot drops off the accelerator as he speaks. “What do you mean?” I ask, needing to understand where he’s going with his huge heart stopping statement.
“If you pack, you pack. But I will always be your Alpha.” His words are drenched in everything King is to me: uncompromising honesty, inflexible reliability, and raw possessiveness and power.
“But I won’t be a part of your pack? Is that what you’re saying?” I smart back, instantly wishing the bitchy side of me would shut the hell up and disappear already.
I can hear the resignation in his voice. “I got a pack here, Tris. This isn’t the life for you.”
Then he stops talking, and I start spiralling.
No matter how hard I try to stop my head going straight back to when I was a kid, I’m there. In the space of seconds, I’m assessing every interaction I’ve had with King. I’m wondering if the connection I thought we shared is imagined or real or did I exaggerate everything between us.
“Thanks.” Is all I manage.
Before I even shut my lips, King is speaking and without realising, slaying demons that I thought were long gone. The whooshing noise in my ears makes it nearly impossible to hear anything, while grey spots fill my eyes as I fight through awful thoughts, wondering if I got King wrong.
“You think I don’t want you by my fucking side? You’re wrong. If you get linked with me, Tris, you get linked with the Fallen and everything you’ve worked your ass off for is gone. All the doors open in front of you will get slammed in your face. Allthe pretty shit you love will disappear in a flash. And I won’t let that happen. Not to you.”
He inadvertently plugs the hole back up in my bleak memories, but I lash out, still hurt. “And Raney?”
“What does she have to do with us?” he barks, and I can hear him standing up, his footsteps a dead giveaway to his pacing.
“Then why haven’t you told her yet? We’ve been doing this a while now and it hasn’t happened yet, maybe it never will. I’ll be your secret side piece until I wither up and die.”
“Fuck, Tristan!” he says, frustrated, but he keeps his volume down. “I get you’re thrown but think for a minute.”
“It’s the same every time we talk about this!”
“It is, isn’t it? Because some fucker keeps threatening you after me and you catch up. And I’ve still got the vision of the time you got hurt seared into my fucking retinas!”
“So, some faceless person is going to ruin us?”
