He hangs up without another word, and I’m left standing in a dark room feeling like Allan unwittingly just steered me to an early morning crisis point. Do I trust Ramses? Should I trust Ramses? If I trust him, can I trust his brothers? Am I seeing this properly? Is Allan coming to tell me he paid them to be in my life?
The door opens, and before Ramses says a word, the kittens are circling my feet. While I should be scrambling to get showered and changed in time for Allan’s arrival, I sit down on my heels and pet my kittens instead, trying to see a way forward.
“All okay?” Ramses asks tentatively, squatting behind me. He feels warm and snuggly when he rubs my back, his voice is gravelly from being asleep too.
Despite us talking in the dark, half entangled in each other, he was also pretty restrained if I compare it to how he was when I slept at his house. This morning though, he’s not worried about pushing past weird curvy lines that now define our relationship. He doesn’t hold back as his hand rubs over my shoulder reassuringly.
My stomach dips, while my chest aches again. I want this. I want what they promised me, and it’s really fucking hard to move past what happened, though it’s not necessarily just because of the triplets—more the way I usually get bent over by life.
“Heidi?” Ramses asks again. His voice is quiet though his orange scent becomes more pronounced as he picks up my growing anxiety.
I shake my head, trying to stop my funk from growing. “Yeah. Allan’s about to land. I’m…”
“I’ll go. He won’t know I’m here,” Ramses offers as he stands up and starts moving back towards where all our stuff is.
“I told Allan someone was here. He said to bring you if I trust you. And I want that, so much, Ramses. But I don’t know.”
I don’t need to turn around to see how he’s looking. He’d be slightly frustrated, unsure of what way to proceed. He’d be right back where I am. It’s tiring. Honestly, all these peaks and troughs are so exhausting. One minute I can see everything being resolved, the next I’m not sure if I’m setting myself up for being alone all over again. I close my eyes, once again searching for elusive answers.
“What if I come down with you, so he meets me. And together we at least might be able to answer any questions you may have about why he approached The Phoenix Group for your welfare, and I can tell him why we refused.”
“But that’s pretty much saying who you are, Ramses.”
“That’s trust though, Heidi.” He says resolutely, his hand rubbing over my back, keeping me grounded. “I’ll leave it with you to decide. I’ll put the shower on for you and call to the kitchen asking someone else to greet Allan and to let him know you’re going to be down in fifteen minutes.”
He takes control of the situation, not because I’m unable, because that’s how Ramses shows he cares. And we all know the current gap between us hasn’t ever been about them not caring for me.
My mobile vibrates in my hand. “Little moon, you’ve got a chopper coming in. Anyone you know? Or do I have to get out a rocket launcher?”
“You have one?” I ask, unsurprised by Darius’s offer but still needing to know.
“I refuse to answer that. But I should say I’m somewhat offended you have to ask,” he growls. And in his tone I can hear he’s distracted, probably focussing on the helicopter which makes sense because where Ramses is so centring and compassionate, Darius is a protector through and through. But is he my protector?
“It’s Allan,” I say belatedly. There’s no point not telling him. The reality is either I do or his brother will.
I feel Darius’s mood flip back to his usual devilish self as soon as I tell him. But like everything with Darius, he surprises me where he jumps to next.
“If my brother gets to meet dear old Dad before I do, I will be certifiably ropable. Just saying, little moon.” He growls again, and this time the noise is entirely different from when he didn’t understand if I was in danger or not.
“Where are you?” I ask pointlessly. He’s clearly on my property, probably watching me talk with him.
“You are asking me to come meet Allan. Knew it!” He hangs up before I can get another word out.
Of course, it never rains but it pours. The house phone rings, and I reach over to pick it up. “Hello?”
“Hey, rohi, are you okay?” Kai sounds worried, half panicked.
“What? Why?” I ask.
“Ram just called down…”
I throw my hand up. “Kai! Are you in my kitchen?”
“How upset would you be if I said yes?” he asks, suddenly cautious.
“Ramses!” I holler, knowing I’ll get some answers from him.
But it’s not Ramses who appears, it’s Darius.
