He leans down after he deposits the kittens into my lap, giving me a super quick kiss on the top of my head.
“Do you want me to move them?” he asks looking at the kittens circling around. And it’s weird hearing him not quite sure of how I will answer.
I shake my head, a small smile letting him know I’m not going to have a complete meltdown. “I’ll let you know if it’s an issue.”
He hovers. There’s no other way to put it, he hovers in indecision, and physically.
“Ramses, what are you doing?” I ask, lifting the cats over to sit next to me, so I can stretch out. And eat. “Sit your ass down.”
“Where?”
I roll my eyes and move over. Closer to the window while also making it pretty obvious he’s to sit where I just was.
“Are you sure? It’s your bed.”
I shrug. “Yeah, well Darius didn’t have an issue when he decided to sleep all over it.”
He doesn’t climb in, instead he pulls all the blankets up before making what looks like a pillow wall between us.
“I didn’t expect you to let me sit next to you. I can sit on the floor.”
“Yeah, well I didn’t expect you to say what you just said either. And I didn’t expect kittens. Or midnight visitors. Or Alphas that won’t stay away.”
He laughs. Like a full belly laugh without even trying to hold it back. And the sound is probably the right thing for me to be hearing now; it’s actually nice.
As abruptly as his laughter starts, it cuts off. I know it’s because he’s feeling guilty; I can see it plain as day, but I also feel his emotions as if they were my own.
The both of us look almost like mirror images, both staring straight ahead, wondering how to do this.
“Ramses, what you did, it is going to take me a while to get over,” I say, pointing at a bottle of water, asking for him to pass it over. “I want to understand why you thought it was the only way. Why not just be honest with me?”
My question is like taking the plug out of the bath—his guilt and anxiety slowly disappear, and it’s replaced by a sense of relief as he starts to talk. He also fills up a container for me of a bit of everything he brought with him.
“We really did intend to. How could we not tell you everything? Since the first time I met you, I knew who you were. I knew everything I was doing finally had meaning. So it was very much something that we needed to talk to you about.” He’s quiet in how he speaks, so is his mood. And he puts a lot of focus onto arranging how my food looks.
He holds it out for me, and I realise what he’s wanting to do. He wants to feed me, and that is beautiful but way, way, way too soon.
“This is okay for us, Ramses. I need you to take baby steps with me, despite your Alpha brain telling you differently.”
He chuckles, although it’s a little sad sounding. And then those emerald eyes of his are dappled in conflict, but he’s nodding, agreeing with what I’m saying. He talks quietly, but it’s not hesitant. “I know. It’s hard. And it should be, but I also can’t express how sorry I am.”
I reach over and take the food from him. “Thanks.”
The food he made looks good. And now I’m hungry. I purposely hold his eye, as I hover the fork in front of my lips asking him without actually asking if his food is safe. He leans in and steers my fork into his mouth, chewing before showing me his empty mouth. “Promise, we won’t ever poison you again.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not making the same promise to you.”
He bursts out laughing, making me start giggling too.
Stupid Alpha-hole looks stunningly gorgeous.
“I eat, you talk.” I scowl at him, and then I shuffle in my bed, leaning with my back against my wall of cushions and purposely keeping my gaze in front of me and not on him. It will be better for the both of us that way, easier to say what needs to be said without seeing each other react.
“It’s hard to know where to start,” he says.
“The story of your life is obviously pretty important, but for us to move forward you need to tell me why, Ramses. I won’t let it go.”
“But I’ve already said. And I know Kai and Dare have too. It really was a case of us freaking out, and in our mind it was better for all of us if you just kind of slept through us not being around.”
