ChapterSeventeen
PUCK
Ifeel like a bit of a cock making a play for her now, especially after running from her last night, but nothing is holding me back anymore. It can’t. I already lost her once, and I will not let it happen again.
What happened to us was so fucking wrong. And I refuse to let Raney think for another second that I wanted to leave her. So today is the day I return all the power to her. And where we hopefully restart us again.
It’s so fucking obvious her heat is coming up, and in a lot of ways that is what’s driving me; her nature is calling to mine, and mine is nearly fucking feral with a need to protect, and fucking ravish her. Every time I breathe in, her sweet, spicy wisteria scent fills my lungs, that primal side starts screaming over and over, ‘Do not let her go.’
Being around Raney, knowing she was sleeping a few hundred yards from me last night was a lesson in restraint. The second I saw her yesterday, I was rendered pretty much tongue tied, but the time overnight has given me clarity along with a million words I need to say.
My alpha pines for her.
It’s not like it’s a surprise. From the first time I saw her, I knew Raney Grady was mine. But since the moment I saw her again, I’ve been hard pressed not to go fucking ape-man, flip her over and fuck her until she screamed I was hers too.
Talon and Hayes showing up pushed my hand, but at the same time it’s fucking Raney I’m talking about! This woman has been my only motivator for years, and before that she was my sole reason for living.
Never once in the time I have known her have I hid the way I feel about her. Yeah, when I was younger every fucking man and his dog gave me shit and said I’d grow out of my infatuation. It hasn’t happened. It won’t ever happen. If Raney doesn’t want me, that is not going to change the way I feel about her.
And nothing I’ve said is a lie, or an over exaggeration. I haven’t slept since I saw her, except I’ve never felt more awake. I did talk with Joker for hours on hours, and not for the first time did the conversation revolve around me and her. But with Joker I know bullshit doesn’t cut it, so it wasn’t a night of sharing fairy-tale endings. It was me running through with him again, asking for his blunt guidance in a few areas. Which he gave. He might be one of Raney’s uncles, but all the Fallen are my brothers too. I trusted the wisdom they’ve each shared with me over the past few years.
Watching her responses as we stand off staring at each other now, I know I did the right thing. We’ve got a lot of fucking ground to cover, but us being together is not going to be one of those obstacles. I’m not going to pretend we haven’t got hard discussions in front of us, Raney deserves to hear my truth, and that’s what she’ll be getting.
As easy as it is to see that Raney is mine, it’s also easy to see what my girl has been through. Or it might be Mother Nature showing me that I’m looking at a part of my soul because even though she damn well glitters in her beauty, I can also see how fucking battered she is on the inside. I’ll make it my mission to make sure she never fucking doubts herself again. This isn’t about me, it’s about me restoring her faith in herself.
“Is that all this is, Puck? You want to try my omega body out?”
“What?” I stammer for a moment before I get overly pissy. “Raney, what the fuck?”
Her chin rises. I’m no expert in omegas, but once upon a time I was an expert in all things Raney. With her designation as obvious as the hair on her head, I drop my shields and flood the kitchen with my presence, and my scent before I lock my knees to stop myself crowding her.
“Sure, I want you in my bed, but not as much as I want you in my life. I said it before, and I’ll keep saying it again until you believe me: I let you go once, I will never do it again.”
“And that means?” Her eyes harden but the rest of her is relaxing. I can see her responding, and scent it too. Feeling bolder, I take a step closer to the only person in the world who could ruin me.
I stop close to the counter, putting my hand next to hers, so our hands touch. “That means, I want to prove to you that I can be who you need. It means, you get all the parts of me no one else does.” Sure, King knows some, but he doesn’t know all of it. And I think we both know how fucking shit things got for the both of us.
She looks at me, and just as I expected, Raney doesn’t puddle to water at my veiled confession of how close I came to succumbing to my own version of hell. I can see her thoughts jumping a million miles an hour. But I wait for her to talk. I’ve said all I need to say. For now.
I can see her working through everything, but I wait. She surprises me when she climbs off the seat she was on and closes the distance between us. “No secrets between us, Puck. Joker said you’re Fallen but…”
I drop my hands to her waist and pull her so her chest is touching mine. “Raney, I’m yours first and foremost. You’ve always owned every part of me. The Fallen have had my back until I got my chance to stand in front of you and be who you needed me to be.”
“No apology?” she asks softly, her hands falling to my waist too.
“I don’t think you’re after an apology, and I don’t think you need one either. Look at you, you’re shining bright like a diamond.” I drop my voice low, trying to keep from picking her up. I’d love to touch her, to push the hair off her face as I speak to her, but I stay put, hoping she hears and believes my sincerity. “It gutted me to know that I wasn’t strong enough to protect you. What happened destroyed me for a fucking long, long time. I can say sorry if that’s what you want, but words are words. So instead, I’ll prove I’m who you need me to be now, I’ll show you that no matter what happens to us, we can’t be separated. They tried once, they’ll never get the chance to again.”
I dig in my shorts, of course, it’s not as smooth as I thought it would be in my head, and I drop the fucking ring. She laughs softly, but when I pop back into view, nabbing her hand, I hold her eye when I suck her thumb into my mouth. My tongue circles her thumb a couple of extra times too because, fuck me dead, it shouldn’t turn me on, but it does. “Instead of an apology, I thought a promise would be better. I never got to give you a promise ring, Raney, but I am now. I promise you so many things, but most of all I promise to take my time falling back in love with you. I don’t want to waste a minute of our second chance at this.”
I don’t really need her answer, because the rapid rise and fall of her chest, the glittering emotions in her eyes are pretty fucking clear. But in case I don’t get those two obvious signs, the smile on her face matches the one in my dream when she said yes.
Miraculously, the ring fits and it looks so fucking right, I nearly tear up myself. “You know, I actually bought this for your twentieth birthday. And yeah, I worked my ass off for the thirty bucks it cost me.” She laughs softly at that, but it’s true. I did whatever I could around the rink to scrape up the money needed, anything when you’re seventeen is back breaking.
She looks at it a few times. And then she fiddles with it, twisting it until it feels right. “Thanks.”
“But?”
Raney spins the ring again. “I want the Pack Dissolution forms signed, Puck.”
