Puck nods his head. I’m not sure he even realises he’s eavesdropping or if he cares that I know he’s listening.
Giuseppe juggles the phone, and I can hear him typing on a keyboard. “Okay. Rhodes is on his way, you have enough money but he will bring more. I will also arrange medication and speak with the Collegiate. Anything else?”
“Get Koz. I need him,” I say loudly. Not to be a dick, but because simply Koz is an important part of my life, and I do need him. “Oh shit,” I gasp, “I’m meant to be signing the Pack Dissolution Forms tomorrow.”
And this time Puck isn’t subtle in his listening. He stomps the brakes so hard I fling forward, he looks over his shoulder at me in complete disbelief, his eyes full of rage. “What. The. Fuck, Raney?” he hisses.
Except Giuseppe is talking again, telling me Rhodes will stand in Koz’s place at the lawyers and he’s sending another lawyer since he won’t be able to make it. He hangs up, telling me he’s going to organise everything, and I’m left with the beep of the terminated call in my ear, and the dark suffocating press of Puck’s emotions again, and a car full of his stormy petrichor scent.
Apparently, I take too long to answer. He starts driving again. Way too fast.
ChapterFifteen
RANEY
Iwatch Puck’s reflection in the rear vision mirror. He’s angry. Really pissed actually. But I’m not worried about my safety or his mood. He doesn’t lash out, he just keeps scenting up the cab of the truck with his anger while his eyes stay locked and focused on the road. It’s impossible to miss the frustrated set of his shoulders or the lines of tension around his eyes. I put them there, and I want them to go away.
And this time instead of distracting him, I keep my voice as flat as I can as I feed him the truth. “It’s why I’m here, Puck, to sign the Pack Dissolution Forms.”
His eyes pull together as he glares harder down the road. I go to say something but he beats me to it. “I signed them fucking years ago. Why didn’t you?”
There’s no denying the sudden rising and growing anger in his voice. And I know I should tread carefully around alphas, but it’s not something I’ve got a complete handle on.
“Yeah, no, that is not possible,” I growl back. His insinuation that I’m the one who fucked up the pack forms is like waving a red flag in my face. This pack bullshit has been a bane of my existence for too fucking long.
Puck ignores my snark, hissing back at me. “I filed for Pack Dissolution. I used fucking legal aid to do it, the week after you left.” He flicks a look out his side window away from me. Well, that’s what it feels like. He keeps his gaze averted before rubbing his hand down his face.
He’s angry, like seething fucking angry. Not about to lose control, but he’s also not holding back on his feelings.
I respect that, in so many ways. I can’t stand fake ass bullshit on any level, and he has always known that.
He really lets go of that anger too, not hiding anything from me. His emotions seep out of him. It’s like getting caught up in a sudden and surging thunderstorm; anger, guilt, and deep, deep sadness falls like rain down on me. And yeah, I can feel all his emotions and him, as clearly as I can feel my own. Perhaps it was because he was the one that bit and claimed me, or perhaps it’s simply because of the insane connection we always shared. And still do.
“I’m sorry,” I say after a few tense moments. And I needed those to get myself under control, after being caught up unexpectedly in his storm.
But I am also fucking sorry on so many levels. It makes me sad, all of this. What happened was so fucking shit and unfair. That’s one side of it, the other is that I struggle on a personal level watching him hurt, and always have. To see Colt / Puck, a boy I used to love with all my heart going through something that clearly upsets him, of course I’m going to be empathetic of his pain.
“What?” he barks. In the reflection of the mirror, I watch his eyebrows scrunch together. His anger makes his face angular; his voice is like cut glass as he hits his hand against the steering wheel while he speaks. “I’m the one that is sorry, not you! So fucking sorry, Raney.”
And he must be. Because his shoulders lock up, and he plants his foot down on the accelerator, driving straight past the burger joint. He blows through all the lights. He doesn’t say another word, although it’s not like he needs to, his stress makes his sweet rain scent bitter and it continues to fill the cabin in warning.
He’s one hundred percent spiralling or caught inside his thoughts. But like he always did, he traps me in the moment with him. Everything else kind of disappears, and honestly, I’m stunned when the car slows and we get waved through the gates of the Fallen compound. Puck parks out the front of the clubhouse, slamming the door shut behind him before even turning the truck off.
Joker appears at my door looking pretty fucking angry himself. He opens my door, and I basically fall into his arms. Shivering and feeling like shit again but that’s the nature of my new designation. Alpha emotions can build me up or drag me down.
“Come on, Raney, let’s get you warmed up,” Joker says tentatively, immediately taking stock of the situation. But he’s an alpha, so he’d be able to sense the bitterness without me explaining.
“I need something to eat,” I offer quietly. My eyes are locked on the ground as I try to stop the waves of nausea from surging up and making me chuck. In a normal situation I might be able to deal with Puck’s mood, but my heat spike and the tablets are adding to the mess.
“Puck! You didn’t stop for fucking food?” Joker yells. Sounding very much like an angry parent.
I jolt in his arms, not realising he’d be pulling that bullshit on me. My eyes jump to Puck’s back as he stops mid stride in his angry escape. It’s lucky Joker’s got an arm for me to hold on to because I nearly get knocked to my knees by a violent spike in Puck’s emotion. It explodes out of him and the fallout from it is impossible to ignore.
“Walk it off, Puck,” Joker says bluntly. His voice is icy cold, and he talks so loud it hurts my ears when he speaks too closely to me. But it hurts more when Puck disappears into the night.
“King never told me,” I say, dropping my head to my uncle’s chest, sounding as broken as I feel. Joker smells like my childhood, and I use him to claw my way back to normality.
“Yeah, well in Puck’s defence, he knows nothing about your life either, Raney. We made a conscious decision to keep you both separate in every possible way. It’s not just on King you’ll have to go off at, we were all in on it.”
