And like always, he comes at me with the tenacity of a bulldozer, obliterating past my barriers. Thank fucking god too because I need him.
Tal takes aim as soon as I look at him. “You and I will always be you and me. I’m not sure why you’re so reflective, well I am, but you don’t need to be so hard on yourself.”
I scrunch my face up, not agreeing with him at all. In fact, I’m still finding it hard to properly articulate both the joy and the rage swamping my insides. He threads our fingers together and the warmth from him radiates, chasing more of the bitter shock from my system.
“Lolli’s safe, Hayes, and I’m right here with you.” Talon keeps his voice low, making it almost hypnotic, though he’s always had a knack for getting under my skin. “Come back to me.”
His words aren’t just words. I don’t just hear them. I feel them. I need them more than ever. Because watching Raney suffer through a chemical cesspool has had me weathering the same emotional highs and lows she did. And despite me being able to see her sleeping between Koz and Puck, I’m having a hard time moving past what Reid did. Even with all the protection around her, he breezed past our defences and plucked her out of our arms. The ripple effect between him taking her and us getting her back is just as hard to work through. And that’s just in relation to her, I haven’t even unpacked Talon being there too.
Obviously, I knew he worked undercover. After Raney, we only had each other to lean on and confide in. We’re also extremely close, so there’s not much we haven’t shared. There couldn’t be for us to work after being screwed over when we were younger, but with Tal’s job there has to be things I’m not completely aware of, for both my safety and his. I knew the basics in case anything happened to him; Tal was holding two opposing ‘jobs’ concurrently, with the same person paying his wage—the police department. It didn’t take much to figure out it would be better if my knowledge only extended to his position with Precinct Eleven. Not that we mixed much with them, but at the annual events I did attend, they’re the stereotypical meat heads who prosper in the boy club mentality.
I never questioned who Talon was working for when he got dressed and left for work, because I trust him. Emphatically. And while I was shocked he was there when we caught up with Raney, I wasn’t blindsided by the discovery. Everything he has done in his career has been with Raney as the end goal.
Him being very nearly hurt or killed doing that is an entirely different issue. And that has me still ready to hurl.
“What are we going to do, Tal?” I whisper, my eyes watching the slow, reassuring way he keeps trailing his thumb over our clasped hands. But he’s always been so fucking sure of us. Us, including Raney.
“What we were always going to, live happily ever after as a pack.”
“How can we do that now?” I hiss at him.
He squeezes my hands. “Easily. What’s got you so… reticent?”
“What? Us both getting played for years isn’t an issue to you?” I spit back viciously. As soon as I stop talking, I quickly check, hoping my voice and my frazzled emotions don’t wake them.
Talon’s dependable calmness washes over me when he answers, “We were both aware of the depravity of the Anders. We've never really discovered why they’ve been hell bent on ruining her, or screwing with us. We probably aren’t even aware of the sheer scale of the games at play, but at the same time, Hayes, it’s not an issue that needs my focus right now.”
“I don’t get how you can say that,” I admit. And I’m unable to hide my frustration when I look into his eyes. “I also don’t get why you’re not upset with me. I took her as pack without you being there or even a part of it. I’m the reason we wasted so much fucking time.”
“No. The reason wasn’t either of us. You and I have been doing everything we possibly could to get out of a bad situation that we both were shoved into. There’s so many sides to this.”
I blow out a sigh of defeat. He’s not wrong there. It’s hard to know where to start. Tal though, seems to have parts of it figured out.
“Look at it from my point of view. Instead of finding Lolli, I became so blinded by the games they were playing, while also being so bear-minded I wanted nothing but the satisfaction of nailing every fucking crooked cop or politician in the city. I lost sight of my reason. Now, since you’re a little overwhelmed, I’ll remind you again, Mr. Man-of-My-Dreams, you and Lolli are my reason.”
I shake my head, flicking over to the next issue because what he said is so fucking deep. It’s easier to deal with other things first. “What about your career, Tal?”
He smiles, and goddamn, it’s like the smile he used to have when we were young. “Remember the conversation you and I had when Lolli showed up again? About me needing to see that sometimes the good guys are the fucked-up villains? I mean that’s a huge part of why I was undercover, but I think maybe my lesson is now learnt.”
He grins wider before he continues. But his smile is so full of easy acceptance. His confidence and conviction is like a comforting caress over my stress.
“It was the same conversation I told you, you were not a replacement.” He casually winks at me. “You better remember that.”
“Tal, you’re taking all this a bit too lightly. Everything is changing, and it deserves more sincerity from you.”
“No, Hayes. I promised Lolli, I was done being so serious. Plus, it’s simple, our life is changing and becoming what it always should have been. And if you think you owe me an apology for packing her without us talking first, then I owe you a bigger apology for changing our life in one rather monumental conversation I had with a man who I was gunning to arrest not that long ago.”
“Hey?”
“Koz was happy to give me time to think, but it’s a no-brainer. I couldn’t really be working for the people who are trying to throw him in jail, major conflict of interest there. So… before I climbed in King’s truck with you guys, I quit my career. Somehow, I don’t think I’m going to get my benefits paid out either, now I’ve driven off into the sunset with a criminal. Which means I’ve got nothing to offer you. No financial security, no income… but I’ve got so much fucking love for you and Lolli.”
I look at him. I search his midnight blue eyes for any sign he’s not being honest, not about his job but about how he feels about walking away from something he’d been obsessing about. But like always, all I see in his deep blue eyes is his love shining back at me.
“Tal…” My throat closes over, making it difficult to talk. But even before I can get a word out, he’s there kissing me softly, scenting me up in the same way I did for Raney while we were in the car. And it is soothing. It does level me out. Of course, Tal’s not finished.
With a final kiss, he drops his forehead to mine. “This is what we’ve always wanted. How we got here isn’t how we thought we would, but does it matter?”
I shake my head, because he’s right, it doesn’t matter. A weight starts to shift off my shoulders. Not talking with Tal before I packed with Raney added a regret that soured a fucking amazing moment, but I know if he’d been in my shoes and had packed her without telling me, I’d have no issue with it. None at all. I’d be over the moon ecstatic for them both.
