I have to lean back against Lincoln and push my palms into my eyes for a minute to catch my emotions. Valak’s hands rub against my thighs; he gives me a moment before he pulls my hand away from my face.
“Lennon, please baby, don’t hide from us. All those emotions deep inside you are the biggest gift you can give us.”
I nod my head agreeing with him. It blows my mind that these alphas don’t shirk or turn away when I get overly emotional, and somehow, they have the power to keep dragging out of me all these deeply repressed emotions that I’ve kept locked away from the world.
He smiles at me, his brown eyes full of as much emotion as mine. “You know what it is, don’t you?”
I nod my head because I do know. This man remembers everything, even some of the earliest things I said when we first met.
He guides my hands around the leather-bound dictionary that rests in my lap, and together we open the oversized cover. Of course, it’s a first edition. It would have cost a small fortune, but what my pack has done means it’s now worthless. Except for me, it instantly becomes one of the most precious things I own.
I use the ribbon which is already in position, and Lincoln helps me open the pages.
Valak’s fingers are on mine. “We can’t take away what happened in the past, Lennon, but I swear to god, we will make your future look exactly the way you want it to.”
I nod while listening to him but have to look at the pages as my eyes flick from the words starting with EU before my version of the dictionary moves straight to EW. Everything that starts with EV is gone. Gone forever—no more Eve, Evie, no more Evolution, no more words that can trip me into a nightmare.
“Our pack will do everything and anything in our power to help you live the life you want. We’ll be with you every step of the way too. Always, Lennon, and then some.”
Valak leaves it at that, everyone else does too. Instead, we settle back against each other, in my nest and watch the night fade to morning.
We spend a lot of time with each other over the next few weeks, stealing moments of intimacy wherever we can. Work gets busy; Noah hates leaving, but until his current surgery schedule is clear, he won’t stop. Lincoln’s declining every opportunity I put in front of him, for now. But mostly we stay together, drifting between our island getaway and our mountain retreat, and avoiding people. I love it.
46
NOAH
Five Months Later
She’s not nervous, but Lennon rarely is. She’s anxious, so am I.
Gabe stops me from running in to see her again.
“She’ll be good, Noah.”
“Yeah. Not sure I will be,” I say, sinking into the hug he offers.
Gabe has been a complete surprise to my life. I guess that’s not the right sentiment because I’m not sure I ever expected to have an omega, let alone a pack. I’ve never felt myself more settled and confident in who I am since finding her and my pack. And him.
Looking back on who I was before I met Lennon, and Gabe, I could never understand why I couldn’t connect with people, but it was because I simply hadn’t met them yet. I don’t need a label on my sexuality, instead I say to anyone that asks, that I’m falling in love with two incredible and generous people who understand and bring out the best in me.
Lincoln and Valak offer more than I ever thought they would too. We’re not brothers, nor does saying we’re pack mates seem enough. Lincoln and I share similar views, we spend a lot of time working on our respective careers, with Lennon driving us both. When I’m with Valak, he’s like my best friend—we push each other past the point of being comfortable, but I know what he does comes from a good place. Mostly. Equally important, Lincoln and Valak have been encouraging and supportive of the different relationship I share with Gabe.
Some days, pack life is a juggle. For someone who’s been so self-reliant, letting go of that insular mindset has been something I’ve had to focus on. The rewards far exceed any hardship. I drive Lennon crazy on a regular basis. I know I do, but even when she is snippy, telling me to trust, I know she’s talking to the both of us. Because while I’ve struggled on some days, so has she.
Our omega remains wildly independent, but we’d never want her any other way. Lennon’s always been such a complex person, with such a diverse range of interconnecting layers. She’s got this yearning inside her to make a difference. Some people confuse it with aggression, but it’s just because of the need that drives her; she’s worried she won’t achieve everything she’s set for herself. But the flip side is, she’s such a beautiful and generous woman with her time, emotions, and honesty. Today is another example of that.
Gabe’s arm slides around my waist and then he’s in front of me, straightening my tie.
“You wore the tortoiseshell glasses for me?” I ask quietly, getting momentarily lost in his brown eyes.
“You know it. Now, stop panicking, our omega is going to shine bright like that diamond you have in your hand.”
I grimace, a wave of nerves making me sweat. “Are you sure she’s going to like it?”
“Nope. It’s always a risk with our Len. But on the other hand, you know she goes gaga for the love her pack gives her.”
Valak enters, wiping off the shaving cream from his face and throwing the towel straight in the hamper.
