Gabe clears his throat a couple of times. “Len, there was no way I could leave Ares out here.”
I squeeze my eyes shut and push back into his safe embrace. It hurts. It really fucking hurts to hear him say those words.
“I crossed a hundred lines of what’s appropriate and what’s not, but I had Luke come out here and pick him up. He looked after him so well, baby. I promise you, Luke stayed with Ares until the very end. But now he’s back inside with us, and he always will be.”
I sob. And it’s lucky Gabe’s holding on to me because my knees buckle at his incredible thoughtfulness, but he keeps talking in my ear, so softly, so sweetly adding more.
“When you’re ready, Len, I’ll read you the letter I wrote you and I’ll show you everything. But Ares is back with us.”
I nod, unable to say anything, but Jesus I feel everything. There’s a wave of emotion inside my heart; grief at losing Ares, relief he wasn’t left out here for all this time, anger he was killed, pure joy and love at what Gabe did, and an awe that I am one of the people in the world who get to see who he really is.
It’s not confusing for me to feel everything all at once, it’s overwhelming but so goddamn perfect. Slumping against Gabe, I let myself feel it all.
My vision is too blurred by my spilling emotions for me to properly take in the swinging seat, but I’m so caught up in the concept and the reasons tonight. And I can’t even think about Gabe’s letter without adding to the tears tracking down my face.
“Do you think he suffered, Gabe?” My voice is all cracked and broken, and I think I splutter on Gabe.
He squeezes me tighter, takes another big breath. “No, Len. I asked Luke because I knew you’d want to know one day, it’s in my letter.”
I nod my head, taking a deep breath with him. “You want to sit with me?”
“Yeah, I’d love that.”
Gabe loosens his arms, but he doesn’t let me go as he shuffles around until he’s standing in front, his big brown eyes so full of his own sadness. I guess he’s got a lot of things he wants to say, but he doesn’t. Instead, my crazy, beautiful mate scents the night with his honey smell before he wraps me in his arms to carry me. And then the man who owns a big part of my heart, and understands me like no one else, rocks me on my seat, until my tears run dry and my eyes close.
Being home, sitting on Gabe’s beautiful and incredibly thoughtful heat gift, with my pack nearby, reinforces how fortunate I am. And I won’t let anything hold me back from falling in love with them. Irrevocably in love too.
“Gabe, can we all sleep in my nest now?” I ask, keeping my ear pressed to his chest, my other hand trailing over the back of Ares’ seat.
He picks me up like I weigh nothing. As soon as we turn from that edge of the garden, Valak stands from his spot where he’s been keeping watch over us for hours. There’s a lot of torment in his eyes, but that’s okay, because one day there won’t be. We’ll all heal together.
Climbing out of Gabe’s arms and into his brother’s, I give him a giant hug. “Did you find my nest?”
“You know it.” His voice is strained, probably because he’s burdening half his brother’s emotions as well as his own. Their twin connection blazing bright tonight. I can see it in the way they both stand similarly; they stand super close to each other too.
“You guys need a minute; I’ll meet you there.”
“I’m next to you tonight,” they both say in unison before I hear two small, tired chuckles.
Letting them talk or hug it out, I turn off lights on my way through my home to find Noah and Lincoln. In my bedroom.
“We’re going to sleep in my nest tonight,” I offer, dropping down between them both on my bed. I’m exhausted, emotionally rung out. I just need to lie with them, soak in their care for a while.
“We can stay out here,” Noah says, his hand splayed over my tummy. Already I feel his warmth seeping and spreading through me.
Shaking my head, I take off my shoes, climb out of my clothes before snuggling up into Noah’s side, waiting for the twins.
“Did you see what Gabe did?” I ask after a few peaceful moments.
Noah rests on his elbow, bringing his head near mine. Brushing the hair off my face, he’s quiet when he talks. “It meant a lot to him to be able to do this for you, Lennon.”
“He spoils me. You all do.”
“And we always will.”
Noah’s long fingers keep brushing over my face, and I close my eyes, enjoying this time with them while also processing Gabe’s heat gift. A part of it is I always thought heat gifts were going to consist of fluffy blankets and matching fuzzy socks, but two of my alphas have given me such different gifts than what I expected. Lincoln gave me the space I crave, while Gabe’s compassionate and thoughtful gift is like a promise of how careful he’ll always be with my heart. As I work through the complexity of receiving them, a tear escapes, and Noah leans down to catch it with a soft kiss.
“Do I need to remind you, Ms. Vale, of all the times you told me to believe I was worthy?”
