“The extended family of Maximus along with his widow Sofia, thank you for your support and kindness, in their time of need. They will be receiving condolences in the Chapel once the casket has been interred,” the man in the black suit spoke some more, his bland voice filled the room but I really wasn’t listening. Instead, I am looking, searching, hoping.
The only thing I remember of the last few days, is sitting in the dirt watching Hunter run back to his house. The sun is bright in my eyes, causing me to squint into the shadows, but I am positive he turned around for one last look, one last laugh with me, before he disappeared. The next thing I remember is my mother’s desperate screams for help, her distress, and her endless tears.
My mum insists that his family moved away that night. It is strange though, they left everything in the house. They didn’t even lock the back door or check the windows. I didn’t believe her, I keep repeating, “it’s just a holiday” as I climb up the tree near his window and shimmying along the broken down pipe to his room. He always left the window open, he says it is for the fresh air but I think it is so I can sneak in. He taught me the safest way when he heard me nearly fall one evening. He made me practice nearly every day for a year. I knew my way to him.
His room is exactly like it was the last time I saw it. His bed is half made, the blue and grey quilt quickly straightened, the piles of pillows thrown happily as a pre-teen will, not really caring how they fell.
I put my secret note under his pillow, cause I know that he will feel it as soon as he lays down. Hunter always went to sleep on his tummy, he made me do it too. He says that it is what best friends do and it is the first step in us being blooded to each other. We had to do a lot of things the same.
I don’t remember why, but I make Hunter a card, maybe I just want to do something happy while my mum is so sad. I trace my hand on some green card and even draw a red line to match the one on my hand. I didn’t put my name on it cause he will know, it is our secret.
Exactly five nights later, when I need my best friend more than ever before, I sneak back over to his house while my mum is crying again in the shower. Hunter’s house is pitch black and nearly everything is the same. I creep in through his half-opened window in the shadow of the early evening, my heart beating out a calling song hoping he is here for me. Except he isn’t. Neither is my secret letter, it is gone from under his pillow.
That is when I start to cry. I just want him home. I need him home. Someone has to help me understand why my dad isn't here anymore. Someone has to show me that maybe I can smile again. But he is nowhere to be found.
And now as I search through the sea of sad people at my father’s funeral, I eventually figure out he really isn’t here and he isn’t going to be either. I collapse to the floor, under the feet and notice of the adults. I crawl far away from them, not looking where I am going until I find a dark room and there I let the tears fall. The sadness that has been following me since he left, bubbles up until it explodes out of my little heart, my tears turn into loud sobs. I am pretty sure I cry then for my dad too.
I realise, sometime later, that the voices of the adults have stopped. I lost track of time hiding in the little room, but I didn’t really know how much.
My mum’s big arms find me hiding in the dark and she wraps me in one of her cuddles before I even realise that I have company. We sit on the floor together and our tears mix, I watch them steadily falling onto my pretty black dress.
“Verginius, we will need to go visit Grandma and Grandpa Bellafonte for a little while sweetheart. They have already gone home ahead of us with Aunt Addy, they will get a special room ready just for you. We are going to leave tomorrow, but we will come back one day, my little darling,” my mum says softly as she snuggles me into her chest.
“But what about Daddy, who will stay with Daddy?” I ask. She doesn’t answer me for a long time instead she nearly squeezes the life out of me. “Can Hunter come Mum, he is my very best friend in the world, he will be home soon, probably tomorrow. Can we please wait for him? He won’t like that I have left without him,” I plead.
“No Verginius, we are leaving in the morning. I am sorry my sweetpea, but I need to get out of here for a little while. It is not forever, I promise you,” she whispers before pushing me off her lap and using the wall to pull herself up to stand. She drags me out of the dark room and without another backwards glance at my dad’s coffin, laying there all by himself, she puts us in the car and drives off.
She lied about going home, I figure that out when I wake up and we are on the highway in the middle of the night.
“I hate you,” I whisper softly with my eyes squeezed shut. But she doesn’t hear me, I am just a child and she is too busy talking on the phone to Aunt Addy.
