I sure as hell can find it. There are questionable methods that are aboveboard but still devious all the same.
“Find it, and I’ll deliver it to them… only if you want. I mean, you really want to be with Savannah.”
We circle back to the root issue. Being with Savannah, or am I really a broken person unable to be in a relationship and give her a future?
Is missing her already a sign? Or is it the loss of lust? The unbearable feeling to want to end her pain? It’s overwhelming, because everything I’ve been doing lately is because I’m out of my depth, because my feelings are stronger than I ever planned, and I haven’t experienced it before, either.
It’s love.
This has to be it.It’s the only explanation.
I told her that I would chase her because my heart spoke before my mind could clear.
The only reason I would chase her is that there’s a future for us.
“You need something to solve this? Consider it done.”
Rubbingthe back of my neck, it makes a slight cracking noise, which isn’t the best sign that my stress or deep fear is getting any less.I’m pacing by the window with my cell phone lying on my desk on speaker and listening to the man on the other end of the line. I vaguely hear his explanation as I look out on the cloudy late afternoon.
“Listen,” I say. “I don’t particularly care how low we need to go on this. I need to ensure we get this done.You have my full permission to go in any direction that will help solve this issue. If I need to throw money at it, no problem. If I need to rip someone to shreds, consider it already done. But speed this up because a lot is on the line,” I remind the independent investigator who better be worth his salt to help diginto any possible hole that could solve Savannah running away.
“I’ll need a bit of time.There are a few avenues we can possibly go, but it could get ugly.”
“I don’t fucking care. Get it done,” I growl before I jab the end button on my screen.
I’m still in misery and despair.Even when my dad made a power move to ruin a company that was supposed to be mine, it was something else: fury. This is not the same.One is utter disappointment and bitterness, and the other has me clinging to hope and fear.
It’s still no surprise that every message to Savannah and every attempted call has gone unanswered.I decided yesterday that the best course of action was to stop trying. After tossing and turning all night and considering my talk with Caroline, one possible solution to this mess came to me.Now, I need to get the wheels turning on it.
Space, they say, can help solve situations. But right now? I need to know Savannah is okay, to touch her to make sure she won’t break, and to remind her that, deep down, she has to believe that my intentions are pure.
My fingers thrum on my desk that I tower over with my hands firmly planted.My mind isn’t racing because my body is numb. It’s different from a fine whiskey winding you down; this numb is purely heavy and dark.
It hits me, one way to solve a mystery. I check the time, and it’s approaching five. Immediately, I swing my suit jacket off the back of my chair and slide it on as I walk to my office door, briefly taking in the scene of an empty desk where Savannah should be on my rush to the elevator.
Three minutes later, I find myself where I never would have thought to be.Awkwardly, I stand to the side outside the daycare and wince when I see a screaming toddler beingcarried in his father’s arms, followed by a mom holding her daughter’s hand and explaining that dinner will be fish sticks. Both parents seem very invested in preventing further meltdowns, so they don’t even see me. It’s not every day that their CEO shows up unannounced here.
Yeah. The company daycare was not on my list of places to voluntarily visit.
As confirmed when Elodie exits the daycare, carrying her daughter, and she instantly squinches her face when she notices me.
“Elodie, I need to talk to you.”
She approaches me with caution. “What are you doing here?”
“Stuck in anguish due to my predicament,” I state the obvious.
She side-eyes me. “Clearly. You are voluntarily showing up at the company daycare.”
I tilt my head to the side. “True.” Glancing around us, the after-work pickup is a zoo. “Can we go somewhere to talk?”
Elodie looks at her daughter, who she bounces on her hip. Admittedly, the kid seems to be the calmest of all of them. Elodie sighs. “Fine. But not for long. Lola will get cranky if she doesn’t have dinner soon.”
“Perfect. The café next door? We can get her a snack or something.”
Reluctantly, she agrees, and we walk together but say little. It must appear odd to some to see us together. We have no connection to one another in terms of work.
When we settle in a booth next door, Elodie excuses herself real quick to change Lola’s diaper.I order us a few things, all while my knee bounces under the table with nerves. This plan has to get me somewhere.
