Scoffing a sound, I shake my head once. “No. I’m not alright,” I mock him. “You… you made me feel things, so many things, only to obliterate them because you lied?—”
Quickly, he interrupts, and his palm flies up. “It’s not a lie. A lie is when you understand what you’re hiding.”
“Still, by association, you’re part of the problem. You helped try to ruin my aunt’s business, a small town, everything I hold dear.”
He shakes his head fervently. “I can fix this.” His adamancy is almost laughable.
“You…” My confidence falls to zero, and the emotions I’ve been trying to control now show as a silent weep creeps up. “Why did you have to let this happen? Why? Not everything can be a game to you,” I choke out.
He hops up, and as he is about to follow the circuit around his desk, he stops, still wanting to respect my boundaries. “I honestly had no idea. If I did, I would have ensured this never happened. We can move past this, we can.” He swallows, and his eyes are full of sorrow. “Space? Is that what you need?” He struggles to say it, but he does.
“No. I need you to accept that you ruined a good thing. I’m not something broken that you can fix.”
His splayed fingers tap on the side of his desk, while he glances down briefly and thinks for a moment. “Then we’ll create something new,” he replies softly when he looks up.
We both stare at one another, pain enthralling us, our eyeslocked in a standoff, his side yearning and mine full of anger and sadness.
“How do I know you weren’t using me?”
That sets him off. “You know you just asked a ridiculous question, because do you believe that?” he challenges. “Actually, really believe that?” Returning to his chair, he grumbles and ensures we don’t see eye to eye.
Deep down, I don’t think I do. Did I say it as an excuse to belittle our relationship, making this process easier? It doesn’t help.I see that now.
My head bows down. “No. I don’t,” I admit honestly.
Julian is relieved, and the stiff silence in the room taunts me, causing me to consider my two choices right now. Either walk straight into his arms and let him comfort me with his hope that we can brush past this, while he’s convinced he has fixed the issue. Or do what I came for and make it clear that he can’t expect everyone to forgive him and sweep things under the rug.
“I should never have agreed to be your assistant.”
“But you did.”
My feet move a few strides closer to his desk, thankful it’s between us. “You wanted me gone, though.”
“Back then I did.” His voice grates. “Now? Not so much.”
I continue to move, on a prowl that leads to only one source. “I can admit that we were not smart people. We ignored boundaries, and now there is a path of destruction.”
“Savannah.” There is an edge in his tone, and he drills his gaze straight into me.
“I’m fucking miserable. Not the kind that has anything to do with work, but it still has to do with you.”
Standing, he doesn’t break our eye contact, and he hovers behind his throne. He wants to be on the same level as me.
“What are you saying?”
My lips tremble, and I bite my lip.
Composure. You can do it. You only need a few seconds.
“We crossed lines, Julian. God…” I comb my hand through my hair until my hand claws the back of my head. “I worried that I was a secret but had to be because I too have a career. It turns out that wasn’t the issue to fear at all. I was never sure whether I saw a side of you that nobody has, or whether you have changed. I want to believe both. But one thing I am 100% certain of is that one thing hasn’t changed.”
“I’m struggling right now to respect the distance, but I’m a moment away from snapping and kissing you until you find logic.”
I chuff a bitter laugh. “You always made assistants run away. You didn’t want me to be the exception when I started. But congratulations… I quit,” I snipe before I pivot on my feet and quickly leave. I can’t bear to give him another glance, it could cause me to crumble weakly in front of him.
He broke my heart and my determination to succeed.
All I hear is him behind me slamming his fist onto his desk before he calls out.“I’ll chase you until you’re mine again.”
