I can see that I've ignited something inside him, as pure annoyance bubbles up. “That’s probably because of you.”
Now, I’m riled. “Me? Always my fault,” I raise my voice.
“Yes!” He curls his fingers into a fist as though he were squeezing a stress ball. “You’re different. Nobody is like you.”
A pin pops the tension in the car and deflates the balloon between us.
“You bring out the fiery side of me. Not many people can do that. Actually, nobody,” I admit, in delicate defense.
Even with a seatbelt on, a sharp right turn makes me slide to the middle slightly and into Julian, his arm instantly steadying me. We end up closer, his arms embracing me, his eyes dropping down, mine looking up. Feeling his body against mine sends my senses into overload.
“What am I going to do with you?” he whispers. It’s not even sexual; there’s vulnerability, a hint at his thought process.
I shake my head, feeling his chest beneath my cheek. “It’s not my decision. I don’t even know my options,” I rasp.
We both feel the car slow down, and I peer out the window to see that we’re back at the hotel and pulling up tothe lobby. I escape his clutches and sit back, already unbuckling my seatbelt with full intention of fleeing the car.
Being near him is overwhelming. I need distance, space to clear my head.
“Savannah.” I hear him say my name as I open the door.
I slide from my seat, dragging my bag. I ignore him but glance back to see him rubbing his temples in frustration.
We both need to cool off.
Thank goodness for room service.It gives me privacy and the ability to stay locked away from the world. Or at least I try to be. My room is next to the hotel's executive suite. There will be only a few walls between Julian and me when we sleep tonight. I’m already prepared that I might be restless. For now, I need to cool off. That’s how Julian and I work. We hit our peak, then mellow out, before heading right back up the mountain.
The hotel robe covering my naked body is divine after a shower, and I’m about to pull back the covers on my bed to settle in for the night with food and watching a hockey game when I hear a knock on my door. Strange. I already received my food and declined the evening turndown service.
“Savannah,” Julian says my name from the other side of the door, then knocks again with a light tap.
Oh.
My entire body hesitates. I’m reluctant to open the door because I don’t know what to expect. My thoughts spin around him, trying to find direction.
“If it’s work, you can send me an email,” I say, stepping back from the door.
“It’s not work.”
Oh.
My fingers pause on the door handle. I brace myself, inhale, and open the door to find Julian. Damn it. He does it to me again: jeans and a t-shirt. Completely unfair. But I’m strong today.
As his feet remain fixed to the floor in front of me, he doesn’t seem annoyed, nor angry, nor in the mood to squabble.
“The clause that you have to stay to have your degree paid for was taken out. It’ll be paid either way… I changed it. A while ago, actually. I just never told you.”
A sting jabs at my stomach. “I’ve been free to quit all this time without the risk of student debt hanging over my head?” He says nothing.
“Fuck you,” I spit out. “Decided now is the time to pull that card out?” I’m furious.
His eyes latch onto mine. “You’re right. But I can’t lie to myself, and I did it because I always want you to have security.” My body softens, more willing to calm and listen. “I’m telling you because you’re right. I am a coward. It’s useless for me to ignore what is transpiring between us. I don’t have any fuel left inside me to fight it. I’m not the best at clarity and getting rid of gray areas when it comes to… well, it’s because you drive me fucking insane. You are invading my life, and I can’t control that I’m letting you.”
My eyes enlarge because I wasn’t expecting this. He’s laying it on the table in his own form of validating that I’m right. I use the remote to mute the game and choose to listen.
Everything in this moment feels raw. My anger, sharp and unexpected, floats into the past even as the man in front of me opens up, vulnerable because of me. The shift is jarring—my own frustration echoes as I witness his honesty. That’s not an easy feat.
“Well, it seems we finally meet on the same page.” It feels like eternity as I wait for him to spell it out for me what he’s expecting.
