“What is it?”
“Great news. Your guest room is going to be put to good use.”
Dread. Absolute dread fills me.
“Yep. We are coming for Christmas. You’re welcome. No need to work on our invitation.” I can hear it in her voice that she is smiling and she is sarcastic today,lovely.
I pinch the bridge of my nose and digest the news. Being a big boy and staying firm that my guest room is off limits is hard when your parents are good people and have only ever supported you. Most of my friends have always said my parents are fun, and I happen to understand their views.
“Okay,” I agree tightly to becoming a host with definitely not the mostest.
“Perfect. You have the tree and decorations, right?”
“Is that really needed?” I press.
She laughs, and Lainey smiles with her. These two women don’t even need to meet; they are both throwing my morning off.
“Of course. If we are going to have a proper Christmas Day, then at least put in a little effort,” she chides.
I bite down my protest. “Guess I’ll find a tree,” I grind out in response.
“Wonderful.” Her peppiness is back in full swing. “One more thing…”
“Yes?”
“Your Aunt Harper and Uncle Max are visiting Illinois since your cousins are with their respective in-laws, and they will be staying in a hotel near you. They managed to get the last room. So please plan accordingly to host us all during the day.”
My jaw goes slack as I take a few beats to adjust to the new situation. “Are you kidding me? We’re adding Hanukkah to the day too?”
Lainey’s eyes grow big, and her beaming smile hasn’t changed.
“You know how she gets. Over the top is the only way, so yes, menorah, dreidels, not a morsel of pig even if it’s candy-shaped. Just do vegetarian. Make it happen.”
“Two years ago, she made the entire family go on a gelt scavenger hunt.” My voice rises.
“Cute, huh?” My mom is oblivious.
“It lasted three hours!”
“Only because it turned into a drinking game,” she defends.
Shaking my head, I feel the need to point out, “And Passover? Should I not remind you of the year that went down in the history books.”
“Hey, it is not my fault that we are required to drink four glasses of wine… and I thought it was grape juice. That stuff almost tastes the same, and it is damn good,” she snaps in her defense before calming. “I’ll call you later. I’m going to check the bakery here for what I might be able to order and bring with us. Love you.” She hangs up before I can absorb any more details.
My hand with my phone drops to my side, and I look at the floor as I come to terms with the change of events. But my eyes quickly draw up when Lainey bursts out laughing.
“Thisisn’t funny.”
Her hand flies up as she tries to calm her hysterics, but it is an easy fail. “I’m sorry, but it is.” She plants her hands on her stomach as she continues. I just watch, not amused in the slightest.
Finally, she grasps my demeanor and swallows a laugh and then attempts to keep back another. “What?” A chuckle escapes. “But thisishilarious.”
I stomp to my coffee machine and begin to work on my cup of coffee with blunt movements.
Lainey walks behind me, and her lone finger scratches my upper back before crawling to my shoulder and urging me to turn and face her. Her face is subdued, but she is still fighting a grin.
“I remember you mentioned the Jewish family factor.”
