Oh no, that swirl in my stomach is back and traveling up my body. I won’t even make it to the bathroom. I lunge forward and grab the small waste bin near my desk just in time to hurl out my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It’s been this way for two days.
Bella watches from the sidelines, completely still, possibly more in shock than I was about an hour ago.
Emptying my stomach never felt so good, despite the sheen of sweat breaking out on my forehead and the fact that I just threw up, but little wins.
Finally, my sister steps forward in an attempt to help and holds the bin as I stand and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.
“This isn’t a drill. That test thingy on the floor is right.”
“No shit, Sherlock.”
She rolls her eyes at me. “No need to be snappy.”
“Sorry. I’m just…”
“Pregnant,” she flippantly supplies.
Blowing out a long exhale, I give up in defeat to fate. “Yes.”
She sets the bin down and encourages me to come sit next to her on my bed. “What are you going to do?”
“Keep this little vulture inside of me, who is probably cute and will have my button nose and Carter’s eyes.”
She nudges my shoulder with her own. “Hate to break the bubble, but when are you going to tell him?”
Thinking about it for a few ticks, I don’t debate it for long. “I would say I’d wait until I go to the doctor, but it’s pretty obvious that I’m 100% pregnant.”
“Like, how did it even happen? I mean, I know you ran into him at the wedding for Hailey and Oliver, but I didn’t think you two, you know…” She gawks her eyes at me.
“We were drunk or maybe not that drunk. Damn it, we should have used one of those little alcohol measuring thingies, a breathalyzer, that he uses when he is on sheriff duty. It might be worse if we were sober.”
“Why? Because you both still have feelings for one another?”
Rubbing my face, I’m well aware that I’m going to need to shower and rinse my mouth, but I can’t move yet. “Can you just be quiet for a second? No need to play therapist right now.”
Bella stands again and shrugs while walking to the bathroom. “It’s obvious,” she calls out and disappears, and I hear the faucet, only for her to return with a wet washcloth for me. “If you accidentally sleep with your ex-husband then you need to re-assess if you actually ever had closure.”
My chest constricts because a dash of anger boils inside me. I’m mad at myself. I can’t fix what I’ve done, and I’m not going to let a child be the reason that we feel we need to be together.
“Again, save your thoughts for yourself.” I pat my mouth, and the coolness of the water feels refreshing. “One day at a time. A reminder that this stays between these four walls. The last thing I need is everyone approaching me with a million questions.”
“You have my word. But seriously, when will you tell him?”
I sigh. “Tomorrow. Can I borrow your car? Mine is with the mechanic because they are fixing a light.”
“Of course.”
“Yippee, telling my baby daddy the news.” I lack enthusiasm in my tone.
This baby is unexpected, but he or she will be loved, and that’s what matters the most.
* * *
Drivingon the county road outside of Everhope on this clear summer day, I’m always reminded of how beautiful it is. After leaving corn fields, you drive through lush green hills with horses on one side and the upcoming skyline of tall trees that line the river. I get a little chance to soak in the scenery because I’m not exactly driving pedal to the metal.
I’ve successfully kept the contents on my stomach inside for an hour more than average, and I can still enjoy wearing my jeans and tank, though I’m aware that it won’t be possible in a few months. But still, between nausea and my fear that anything might hurt the baby, I’m acting a little overdramatic, but I’ll stick to my fifteen-mile limit.
In my defense, my nerves are also preventing me from concentrating. It’s my goal to make it to Everhope and find Carter. I didn’t exactly send him a text or give him a call because that would just keep us both in suspense until we talk in person.
