“How considerate of you.” We both shuffle into our spots to get comfortable for the night.
Once she’s snuggling in, I take a few extra beats to stroke her cheek once, and she nips my thumb.
“We’ll be okay,” she whispers.
Sighing, I know she’s right. Doesn’t mean I’m any less in the chokehold that this woman has always had on me or the fact that I yearn for her as my wife again.
For now, I hold her as we settle into another night of sleep.
Together.
18
ROSIE
Aphoto can speak truths.
That’s what Esme just told me.
Maybe that’s why an overwhelming feeling has been chasing me for days.
“Okay, let’s move from the bed to the window. It will be a perfect shot,” she directs me with her camera in one hand.
We’re in her studio, also known as the spare bedroom in her old house. Boudoir and engagement shoots are her talent. When she suggested that I have a little shoot half naked while pregnant, it was an instant yes from me.
“By the window is a good idea,” I agree.
I have super fluffy socks on, panties, and a black bra visible under an open-button shirt that falls to my thighs and displays my belly. The chilly winter day streams light into the room despite it being cloudy.
“Stand sideways and pretend to look out the window.”
Following instruction, I get into the pose and relish this scenario, as it’s exactly what I wanted. The clicking of her lens should make this feel unnatural, but her talent and my confidence have made this anything but.
“Ready for your baby shower this weekend?”
I stunt a laugh. “Yes, but I’ve heard rumors that Hailey is worn out from calming the moms.”
“She might have mentioned that she was debating slipping tranquilizers into their drinks,” she jokes.
“I’m sure they will quiet down when I explain a few rituals that we are going to do. Carter’s mom isn’t a fan of my spiritual stuff, and my mom, bless her, always goes along for the ride.”
Esme tips her eyes up quickly, and she wears a smirk before she studies her screen again. “How are you and Carter doing? You both seem to be in a good place.”
It’s impossible to hide it when a bright smile hits me. “We are. I’m sure he would have us remarried already if I would let us.”
He’s both persistent and patient. His faith in us is unwavering and causes me to believe that we are strong. But I refuse to let us down in case we’re going too fast. With utmost certainty is when I will take my ring back.
It’s not that we have to get married to have a loving relationship and raise a baby. It’s just that it would feel as though we are missing a piece because we were once complete as husband and wife until I veered off track. I am meant to be his wife. I do believe in that. I don’t think it’s due to emotions related to the pregnancy that has me in that view.
“Well, everyone goes at their own pace. Keats and I took a year until we married. He’s a complete family man, but I refused to try to get pregnant on the honeymoon. If he’d had it his way, then I would have already been pregnant then, but instead, I’m pre—” Her head perks when she realizes it just flowed out of her mouth.
Instantly, I have the widest grin of the day. “Pregnant?”
She can’t help but smile shyly and nods.
I’m to her in a heartbeat to give her hug. “Congratulations.”
She lifts her shoulders. “Thanks. I don’t think I was supposed to let that slip. We’re still ten weeks.”
